Thursday, December 23, 2010

And one year later...

And one year later...I'm a real permanent resident of Canada. Today I received my OHIP card (Ontario Health Insurance Program) for health care services. What a wonderful moment! Not only is this the last thing I was waiting for regarding my immigration, I haven't had insurance for the last 3 years. I turned 22 and got kicked off of my mom's insurance. I only worked part time so I never received any medical benefits. I was going to grad school which provided really expensive insurance that I didn't take. I figured I worked in a doctor's office, so if the worst happens, I always had doctor's around to help me. It wasn't too bad. Whenever I had to see my real doctor I just paid for it, and I think I actually saved money compared to getting real insurance. Unfortunately, I went to the doctor more often after I moved to Canada and realized how beneficial insurance can be when I had to pay for my visits as an unemployed woman.

So receiving this card was quite a wonderful moment. I finally felt safe. Anything could happen to me, and I could see a doctor. This might not mean much to other Canadians, but coming from America and working in medical billing, I understand what a privilege it is to receive free health care. The card came stuck on a piece of paper. I looked at the paper over and over again. It just said here is your card, please notify us if your address changes. I was expecting a list of restrictions. Could I really go see any doctor? The ER? Walk In? Specialists? I'm not sure yet...I think I may need a referral for specialists. But I know many people walk into the ER like it is the walk in clinic. I recently heard a story where a woman died in the ER while waiting to be seen because the wait time was so long, and no one was available to tend to her.

I guess there are advantages and disadvantages to both systems. There are not many doctors in Canada because many of them migrate to the US where doctors get paid more. The salaries in Canada are lower because most of the medical expenses are paid by the government. Waiting times are long, and doctors' skills may not be allocated properly since even a little cold is treating by the ER doctors. Health care is very expensive in the US but we don't have to wait very long. There must be a happy medium between the two.

I'm still very excited about receiving my card. At least I have some option. Not only do I need a lot of services, it will be interesting to compare the two systems as well.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Life and Death

i'm here at school and the printers are not working....i have a few minutes before class and a mind provoking topic, so it was a perfect moment to update the blog.

last night i have this weird i was going to die. my body was hurting so much that i thought i may have something like MS or some sort of whole body cancer. Thinking about this really scared me. How would it feel to hear that you may only have a few days to live? After looking up MS symptoms...I'm sure I don't have that so I feel much better today. But last night I was so scared that I just started crying.

I also had this weird feeling when I went to an amusement park this summer. I went back home in August and me cousins and I decided to go to an amusement park. I lovee rides, but this time I was quite scared of something unusual happening. I'm usually the one that forces others to get on roller coasters...but this time it was realyl hard to get myself to go on it.

This is pretty odd for me because there have been days in the past where I would go to sleep and hope that I died and won't have to wake up the next day. Before getting married, I've had many nights that I'd go to bed when so much physical pain and heartache that I just didn't want to live another day.

Last night, I was scared to die. I feel like theres's not much to live for these days so I thought it would be easier to think about death. It's not. The reason I was so scared was because I wasn't ready to leave my husband yet. I think my purpose in life may no be extraordinary, but just to care and be with my husband. I was truly scared because I didn't want to leave him alone in this world. And selfishly, I didn't want to see him start another life that has potential for prefection without me. I know this is morbid to think, but thinking about it gave me a spark. I feel like I do have something to live for. I didn't just move here to make my life so difficult. I'm really here because I love my husband and really really really want to be with him and hopefully for 60+ years!

Thursday, November 4, 2010


I wanted to write this post a couple days ago. I always have stuff on my mind that is time sensitive but forget to actually write it in the blog! As we all know the Midterm elections were this week. This is not another post on how the House is divided and if our country will make it another two years. This is a post about how you feel as an immigrant during voting season.

Recently it seems as though everything I do is so similar to how my parents are. Everything I am trying to work through in Canada reminds me of what my parents must have felt when they came to the US. I remember when we were little and had dinner parties with all the other indian families, the uncles would sit around and talk about Indian politics. I never knew why they would be so involved in indian politics. First of all it was really complicated. Secondly, and most importantly, they don't live there anymore so why do they care so much? To me politics was something you worried about when you lived in that area. Isn't it in my best interest to be informed on who my mayor, senator, congressmen are in my city? How they directly affect me?

I guess its more complicated than that. This year when everyone was voting in the US, i felt left out, but at the same time i was so interested. I read all the articles, watch the polls at the end of the day. But why? I don't llive there anymore and it doesn't effect me at all. I think for me it was more a feeling of pride, a feeling of belonging. I still feel like I am an American and regardless of where I live I want America to prosper. I want it to look good amongst the other countries. I want people to elect the right guys because the American government still affects my parents and my sister and all my friends and family still in America.

You know I think that's what it means to be a citizen. To be proud of your country regardless of where you are or what situation the country is in. That is your country and you want to show it off.

I guess those uncles at the indian parties are still indian inside and still care how their families/parents/siblings are living back home.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


i realized that i'm slowly becoming my mom. its so dreadful and something that i don't want at all...but it seems so inevitable. one time we went to india and had planned this super long tour around south india. our first stop was chennai, then mysore, then mangalore. we werer going to do a 10 day trip by train. it was quite fun, we visited family on the way and got to see a lot of places in such a quick time. i really liked seeing the mysore palace and its extraordinary architecture. naturally when we got back to kerala everyone asked how our trip was. My dad, my sister and i were soooo excited to tell everyone how it was and how much we enjoyed it. But my mom's response? "oh it was tiring" everytime someone asked us about it she said it was tiring. We got really mad at her and told her she has a negative attitude. She does usually look for the negative in things and try to argue with everyone--its just her nature.

So the other night my hus and i went swimming. he asked me how i was liking it and i was "its tiring, my legs hurt a lot." as soon as i said it...i wish i could take it back. he scrunched his face and said "are you always complaining?" i felt so bad at that moment. he had set up this whole swimming thing, bought me a new swimsuit etc. i do tend to complain a lot. with my body issues...a lot of things are painful but i guess it is just as hard being around someone complaining about it as well. sometimes i feel like i have a right to complain because i have an actual physical problem. but no one likes being around a complainer. i've decided to not be so complainy anymore. i want to be a positive person (i used to be a positive person). but sometimes at the end of the day...i feel like my husband is the person i should be the most honest to. i guess though, you just gotta suck it up and live.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Busy Bee

I finally have become busy in Canada. I started classes a few weeks ago...just part time taking some classes that i didn't take in my previous programs. its at a community college...which is interesting. i always think of myself as very immature--well not immature....just not mature like other people my age. But, when i come to this school....i realize how much of an old lady i am. :P not that its a bad thing, i like being out of that uncertainty phase that the other students are going through. I know everyone has their own issues but its funny how during class i'm stressed out about grocery lists, what to make for dinner, laundry, etc.

I also started volunteering and though i've only gone to two days, i loveeee being in an office again. there is something about walking into an office and pouring yourself a cup of coffee. i can't wait until i get a real office job. i also love being around other people too.

all this good karma has helped and i've actually gotten my immigration!! it was so exciting and such a relief to finally have things work for me. i finally get to add myself to insurance policies, bank accts, etc. i feel like i have an identity here.

i've also realized how hard it is to be a working wife! i was out all day...and came home to a pile of hoemwork. i realized then that i need to organize my life better if i intend to cook, clean etc like before. i want to be the perfect wife but be an independent, confident woman as well.

i'm havin fun though. life is much better than it was before. though i miss all my daytime tv shows and sitting around in my pjs all day!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Got Milk?

Allergy articles are everywhere these days. I've always been amazed by how many kids are becoming more and more allergic to things recently compared to when I was a child or even another decade before that. Though I haven't researched it much, I've heard that the rise in allergies is because our society (at least in first world countries) have become too sanitized. Our bodies have become used to cleanliness so much that it recognizes some objects as being foreign. Unfortunately, our bodies are recognizing everyday things like peanuts, corn, wheat etc as being foreign.

At first I couldn't believe how many kids had peanut allergies! I even heard at one school if you bring a peanut butter sandwich, you are shunned to the peanut table to eat your lunch! I didn't realize how much of an impact allergies had in schools.

But of course the believe who believe it the least develop it the fastest right :) I've developed a bunch of allergies recently! The year I turned 21 I decided to grill some fantastic shrimp. Shrimp is something I absolutely loved...but that day, I felt a little funny in my throat. I didn't think much of it and thought I must have made a mistake in my recipe because I didn't find it very appetizing at all. I tried it again later in Indian food and still found myself not really liking it as usual and my throat and lips were kind of swollen. I realized then that I am probably allergic to shrimp. I've recently experimented with crab, lobster, oysters and found the same reaction to those too. But giving up shellfish was easy. I didn't eat it much before anyways.

But recently I found out i was allergic to something else--something that i absolutely love and had everyday--MILK. I loveeee milk. I love drinking a big glass every morning. It keeps me so full and I really think I lost most of my weight from that. As I've mentioned before, I have some symptoms of rheumatoid arthritis, but lately the symptoms have been so severe I could hardly get out of bed and move around. I was getting really tired of life, it just didn't feel right that a 24 yr old would have such severe symptoms of arthritis. I was even questioning how long I would live if the symptoms kept progressing like that! My dear husband was doing researched and suggested that I don't drink milk for a couple of days. I did that and the results were amazing! I felt so energetic. I didn't have any swelling or pain. I was so amazed! I haven't had milk for about 2 weeks and I feel so strong. I do miss milk a lot but I grateful we found out what was bothering my body. It's interesting how our bodies react to certain things.

I don't know if we should work on cures for allergies. If you eat pure, non processed food, it seems to be easy to avoid what you are allergic to. Milk is hidden in a lot of things, and I still need to experiment with other types of dairy. Until then I'm just grateful to be pain free!x

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Today i feel like the whole day is open to do anything. i don't really have plans...although i've never really had plans in my housewifedom...but today kind of at a loss of what to do. i think its because last week was the hills i feel like i'm free from self-indulges that i like to do by myself during the day. i dunno why this feeling.

this weekend we did a lot of furniture and homegoods buying. i lovee doing this, not only because i love household things, but making these decisions make me feel like this is my house too. even though i've been here for half a year (!) i still don't have much to myself. all i have is a 5 drawer chest where i put my clothes, my computer, a few shoes, a jacket, and yoga mat. moving here has really made me live minimally. only recently have i even started buy groceries or goodies just for myself.

other than that...we don't have much going on...i'm going home this weekend and its all i can think of.

Friday, July 16, 2010


hi. ok ok i missed a day but we were really busy. :) sorry. I don't really have a specific topic for today. I'm just trying to figure out what to do with life. I have this feeling that my immigration is going to take a long first I was feeling really optimistic...but I saw an estimated processing time chart on the canadian immigration webpage and it says it could take much much longer. sigh.

I'm trying to be optimistic about life...because if i bum around its not fair to C. he works so hard during the day that he shouldn't have to come home to sadness. He should be happy when he comes home. And really I'm just being a baby. Its not as though I'm suffering only problem is that I'm dying of too much free time. I mean how many married 24 yr old's can say that??

I also believe that I have a purpose for being here...maybe my purpose will be unveiled to me soon, maybe in 50 years. Why else would God have made me meet C on the internet out of the billions of people out there? Why would He have set me up with someone in Canada...there are so many people in the US. There just has to be a reason.

So I'm making my starts again here in september. So i was thinking of taking a few classes. Think about this--I can take any class I want...I don't really need goodd grades cuz if I fail I don't have to tell anyone about it. I can just forget that whole class...or drop it or whatever i want. But at the same time, I may be able to learn some stuff, use it on my resume, and actually start using my brain again. I'm looking at taking some classes at the college (thats community college to us americans--our college is called university here) just for fun. Also, I just applied for a volunteer position. Pray that I get it!! Then I can get out of the house...maybe meet some new friends...get up and get dressed everyday. It will be fun!

Please Please Please just keep me in your prayers.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Indian Cliche Wife

hello blogosphere...i actually made it to a second consecutive day for a new post. I dunno why but blogging is much easier when you are upset, isnt it? But then I don't want my blog to be one big pity party...because its a reflection of my life...and my life really is quite easy breezy fun right now.

Moving to Canada has really taught me a lot. Since I've been back from india i've been in a very sad-y mood. I guess until the trip to india, my excuse for not working is because i had to be in india for 2 if i started a job i wont be able to take time off etc etc. Then i guess in my head it was like, once i come back life will start. hasnt...its really the same as before if not more frustrating. My immigration is taking soooo long. So even though i'm usually quite content and happy to be here with my husband...i've had days were my insides have burst and i've gone into crazy crying spells. I feel like my life is so indian cliche...girl meets boy. girl and boy are well educated from good families. they get married. girl moves to boys country (usually some foreign country). girl applies for immigration. girl sits at home because she can't work. girl depends on husband for everything.

You know when you are in school or working...all you want is a break. But in reality with a break like this...and a brain that is used to being challenged, you literally go crazy! I really do feel for all those H1 wives now. Some of them are so young it must be so hard to adjust. Then they decide to have a child just because there is nothing else to do...and suddenly this young girl because some old aunty-like person.

I know i made the right decision because even though i had everything else at home...i came home every night and cried because i didn't have C. I'm just so anxious to start my life...use my degree toward something. start making money....having a routine and some new friends.

i guess i'll just have to wait.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


oh wow i'm really bad at blogging. the thing about blogging is that i read a lot of really good blogs. i have about 30 or so in my google reader and they all do such a good job at writing a post everyday. i hate it if they leave a huge gap between posts but i don't know why i don't apply that rule to my own blog.

my last post was soooo long ago and so much as happened. i've taken a trip to MIL has come back sister in law got married. so much. but i felt like i did write a post in between...the thing is.. i have so many ideas in my head for a post but i never sit down to write it. i really will try.

one of the ideas i had was to talk about grocery stores in india. can i say ew? first of all...during my last trip to india i stayed with my husband's family the whole time. It's a little different staying with them because they live in "the city" and in a flat and by themselves. Which means we gotta fend for ourselves ie cook, clean, etc ourselves! Usually when i got with my parents, we stay at our own house which is next to my uncle's house which is where we usually hang out and eat. My aunt usually cooks enormous amounts of food for us, and we never have to worry about coming home to an empty kitchen. This time though, after whole day expeditions throughout Cochin, we'll come home around 9ish and be famished and left with no groceries. But at the same time, since we were in the city, we dined at some amazing restaurants and didn't have to spend hours sitting in the car traveling from our house to other places.

Anyhow, since it was just my in laws and C and me, their parents let ourselves do a few things on our own. (my parents have never let me do this, maybe cuz im a girl, maybe cuz i don't really speak malayalam, probably cuz i don't know the way around). After spending about a week there C and I had the hang of things so we decided to go get groceries because I loveeee grocery stores. But OMG i feel so bad for people in India. They get crap! I was buying some fresh veggies and couldn't even stand to look at it. The tomatoes were tinyy and misshaped, the carrots were small, the cilantro was all squished. everything was just gross. I asked for some eggs but they ran out of it. We wanted to buy milk, but they are sold in tiny bags that were leaking everywhere. I was very surprised to see a superstore that was so disorganized. I felt really bad because I know where the big, luscious tomatoes were, the pretty yellow bananas, the ripe ripe mangoes--they are all on a ship to dubai, england, america...

It was quite the experience and now I feel even more bad for indian housewives who make amazing dishes with so low quality products. They already hardly have gas stoves, fridges and microwaves.

Everything else in india was much better than usual this time. I really enjoyed this trip. It was the right duration (about 10 days) because India can get kinda boring and disgusting if you are there any longer. For the first 10 days its still so new and exotic.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Yummy yummy yummy I got rice in my tummy

My motivation for cooking has diminished. I think it's because my sister in law is at home with me all day, and the part of cooking I liked was the surprise when we ate dinner. But when she is here, she can smell and see everything at the early stages. I dunno, I have some weird complex. I'm also exhausted from eating food from my cousin's trip last weekend. We had so much food and so many leftovers that I hardly had to cook last week. Then we had my sister in law's bridal shower, and the aunties sent home a bunch of food from that as well. So after eating all that, we were left with actually having to make a meal today.

I've been wanting to make fried rice (indian kind) for a long time now. My husband likes traditional kerala style food and isn't really into the north indian stuff, but i love how curried north indian is (compared to dry kerala food). He's on a business trip though, so its the perfect time to eat stuff that he doesn't like, hence, fried rice, egg curry, and yogurt salad. YUM!

I always thought fried rice was something that is hard to make since it is usually only made on special occasions (in a malu home). I know whenever my mom made it, she makes huge quantities to feed an army or take to a potluck.

For fried rice (this makes about 6-8 portions) take 2 cups basmati rice and soak it in water (after washing it) for 20 mins. While that is soaking, slice half a medium onion and one large green chili. Heat up about 3 tbsp oil, once it is hot, add fennel, cloves (4-5), and one bay leaf, let it toast in the oil. Then saute the onion and then the chili. once the onion has some color on it, add 1 tsp of coriander pwd, 1/2 tsp chilli pwd, and a pinch of turmeric. let that fry in the oil. Drain the rice from the soaking water and put the rice into the pan. Fry the rice with 2 tbsp of butter/ghee (i used butter). once the rice is kind of translucent from frying, add 4 cups water and salt until you can just taste the salt in the water. cover, bring to a boil, and then reduce to low and let it sit for 20 mins. I stirred my rice in between because i was scared of burning it. During the last 5 mins, i put in about a cup of frozen mixed vegetables.

It was so good!!

Thursday, May 13, 2010


Last week was a huge feat for me. It was my first time having guests over! My aunt and cousin came to visit me. I wish I could have taken pics of all the food i made...but I was wayyy too busy. It took me almost two whole days to make everything, but i made a proper kerala meal and also had another lunch with some local guests too! It was such a big deal because i had to make the house look perfect, the food taste perfect, make sure they were entertained, and just play the role of a good hostess. Plus it was my aunt...she was gonna go home and tell my mom everything!! But no worries, everything went well.

Monday, May 3, 2010

The grass is greener on the other side...

I don't know if I have used this title already because grass has been on our minds for a couple of weeks now. My new hobby is gardening and making our perfect house look beautiful on the outside. It's also a super romantic, intimate outing with your hubby. Not only does he feel manly doing all the heavy lifting, shoveling, etc...he gets to watch you get creative and physical..grunts and all. I feel its so intimate because your partner sees you at your worst. You wear the most casual clothes you have, you get hot and sweaty...and you even feel sore the next day. It seems like such a vulnerable activity.

But i also came up with this title because i'm homesick. I feel like i just want one day to go back to life how it was....even if it includes a full day of work...a couple of classes...and going to bed alone. The life I'm living right now almost feels like a fairytale and sometimes I think with the next blink of the eye I'm going to go back into reality. No my fairytale isn't glamorous...but...its just so surreal.

I think i'm starting to really lose it with having so much time on my hands. I feel pathetic and feel like I'm losing my skills. I crave people interaction. As much as i've been trying to absorb this new city... I would give anything to drive on my old streets, walk into a Target, eat a McDouble and see my family.

But when I had all that...all i wanted to do was move to Canada. That was my excuse for everything while i was home...."sorry I can't do it...I'm moving to Canada."

Well Canada I'm here and I want a life. I don't want to be a full time housewife. I want a car. I want to know what each store is. I want to have friends here. I want to make memories. I want to feel like I belong here too.

Monday, April 26, 2010

eggtastic theory seems to have the opposite effect. the egg was perfect today. the day has been anything but perfect.

Sunday, April 25, 2010


Like I always say...I have so many ideas for blog posts in my head...but its so hard to sit down and write i down perfectly. I call this one Eggtastic because of a little game I've been playing with myself. I make my cute husband eggs every morning. Now don't start on the unhealthiness of eating eggs every morning...I'm not sure if its true but this is one of the only things he'll eat in the morning. His favorite type of egg is eggs over easy... you know the one where the yolk is runny. Now let me tell you...I think I'm pretty good at making food...but eggs are one of my biggest enemies. Man I loveee eating them, but I am such a bad FLIPPER! During the last 2 months I've been trying to perfect my eggs over easy...with much failure. So the game I play with myself is...deciding what kind of day it's gonna be according to how my eggs turn out. A good egg over easy=an eggcellent day, scrambled eggs cuz i messed up=a really lameee day. :) i don't know if it really comes true...since I forget the game after he leaves, but today the rule just didn't work.

I made one of the worst eggs in history today...and it has turned out to be a fantastic day. We've heard some good news....that I can't disclose yet...and in general the day has been great.

This week has been ok in general...I actually got food poisoning one day but the rest has been ok. The way C takes care of me when I'm sick is amazing. Everyday I feel so blessed to have him. One good this these last few weeks is that I've been losing weight!

Getting out of my comfort zone has helped my weight a lot. We eat home cooked food for all three meals most of the time, especially me since I don't have a car or anywhere to go. I've also lost a lot of cravings for fast food. I see food more as a way to nutrition my body instead of something to savor. I know you may think that sound sad...but this new mindset has really helped me in weight loss. It may also be why I don't blog much because there are no new interesting recipes. I just eat indian food...all the time...the same things every week. I really had to get out of my fast food rut...and schedule my time better where food can be cooked instead of picked up on the way home. It sounds so cliche...but that's what I needed. Unfortunately, I had to move to another country and strip myself of a job, car, and money to do so. But i love that feeling when I'm standing on the scale!

Saturday, April 10, 2010


I've been waiting a few weeks to make this! I love it when my mom has time to make real indian snacks on the weekend and wanted to do the same for my family. But, I've married into a household that does not like to fry food! How do you make indian snacks without frying? So obviously I had to wait till my MIL left. This weekend we went to the flea market and the lakefront! It's so weird that I live next to such a huge mass of water. We want to find some beachy areas so we can go chill in the summer. It was really cold by the lake today though--need to wait a couple more weeks before hanging out. We haven't gone grocery shopping all week either so we didn't have an regular easy snacks. Perfect for busting out the indian food. So i decided to make onion, cilantro, cauliflower pakoras.

This is super easy. I took about 2 cups of cauliflower, half a med onion, and a handful of cilantro and washed and cut everything up as well as a couple green chillies. For the batter I used 1 cup besan/gram flour, 1/4 cup all purpose flower, 1/2 teaspoon baking powder, salt to taste and some chilli powder. Then i added warm water until it was smooth batterlike. i mixed all the vegetables together in the batter and fried it in the oil until it turned golden brown. We enjoyed these with maggi chilli masala sauce. DELISH!

I felt so indiany housewife ish :) But now I'm resting after a long day. We had homemade tacos for dinner because Toronto has no Mexican restaurants! So weird after growing up in Colorado!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Indian Food Galore

Today's post is inspired by my best buddy and probably only reader of this blog who encouraged me to post again, thoroughly, so a normal human can read, learn, and crave the food I eat. This is a special post because I actually made two things and took detailed pics!

Since getting married, I've been eating Indian food primarily. We eat mostly Kerala style food, but love to go out for north indian food and even make things like butter chicken or paneer at home once in a while. I've been cooking daily for about a month, and finally i've reached a point where I feel like everything is starting to taste the same, and I just can't handle my food anymore. Unfortunately, when you become a wife or a mother or really the chef of the house you can't just drop everything and never make food. I had to get over my rut and continue cooking. I'm not sure what direction to take...if I should buy more packaged spice blends, eat out more for creativity, or what. All I know is I have to make dinner for one picky eat and one vegetarian.

So my picky eater lovessss black eyed peas curry. I've never even heard of this thing until i met him. My mother doesn't approve of simple foods like this that is made out of a can, but my husband reallyyy loves it. It's a basic curry. The first picture shows most of the ingredients for most curries. I forgot to show the green chillies, black eyed peas, milk, and yogurt that I used. First dice/mince up the ginger and garlic. Slice the onions and get the tomatoes ready by dicing it too. I used about an inch of ginger, 3 cloves of garlic, one small red onion, and half a beefsteak tomato. Next, heat up the oil and splutter some mustard seeds in it. Then you saute the onions in the oil for a couple minutes, add the green chillie, ginger and garlic. When everything is brownish, add the tomatoes (picture 3). I let the tomatoes dissolve a little and then add the spices. First add 2 tblspn of coriander, 1 tbsp of chilli powder, and half a teaspoon of turmeric. Roast the spices with the heat. Next add a can of black eyed peas without the water. Add about half the can of water and let it simmer down. Also add salt, black pepper and garam masala. Once it looks curry-ish, I realized mine is reallyy HOTHOTHOT, so I had to add some milk and yogurt to it. Do this to your own liking. The end result should look like this:

I'm having a hard time arranging the pictures on this post, but I hope you can follow it. :( Sorry. So the next recipe is not really a recipe. It's one of my experiments that came about by eating at someone's house this weekend and trying out a spice blend. In the picture below you can see the main ingredients, excluding the milk: paneer, Sara's butter chicken mix, and peas. i was going for muttar paneer. This is a super easy dish if you can find something like this gravy. Sara's is a kerala company so you would have to go to a Malayalee store to get it, but I'm sure u can make the same thing with either Patak's or Parampara Butter Chicken Masala. But if you have a vegetarian among you just make sure there is not chicken broth or fats added to the mix. This gravy requires you to marinate the chicken/paneer in a premade mix. Then fry it in some oil and add the bigger packet of gravy. i only used half the packet for 200 g of paneer. you also have to add about 200 ml of milk. It turns out really good, not like restaurant butter chicken though. Its more of the south indian style of chicken. after letting it simmer for a bit when im almost done with it, I added a couple handfuls of frozen peas. My mom usually uses dried green peas, but I lovee the taste of fresh peas. Then i turn off the heat, and cover it so the peas get cooked through without getting overly cooked. It will look like the last picture! Yummy! I wish I could plate my dishes properly for you guys, but I cook during the day when my husband is at work and don't make rice or eat any of the food until dinner. I hope you enjoyed today's post! Eat well!

Monday, March 15, 2010


hello there! a quick recipe before bed. I've found blogging after dinner and before bed is a good time for me, as my husband (still feels weird saying it) browses his computer and i need to occupy myself.

I made this recipe last week for my husband's (!) coworkers. they all came over to do some wii stuff and play some major rock band since we are a gaming household suddenly. this is an EASSYY recipe for paneer poppers, sorta like mozzarella sticks.

u need one block on paneer. cut it into 6 squares and then cut those squares into 3 long rectangle pieces. really it doesnt matter what kind of pieces this just made them look like mozzarella sticks more. ok then...start an assembly line....roll the pieces in flour...egg whites then PANKO breadcrumbs. panko breadcrumbs make everything supperrr crispy. then i placed it on a cookie sheet (for the lack of a baking wire rack...i would love to get one of those) and baked for about 15 mins until goldeny under 425 deg.

it was so good! and we used sirarcha and ketchup as a dipper. yummmiees.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

another beginning?

Today was my first actual day of wifedom. my MIL was staying with us until last night and her leaving seems like the push i needed to becoming a real adult. I've never lived without parents more like without a meal plan--i did have a great time my freshman year of college but always had a meal plan and never had to worry about what we are going to eat. But, recently, knowing that my MIL was leaving...i started getting worried. living with two very busy, working people requires me to take the lead and cook for everyone. It also helps that its my all time favorite thing to do after eating...:P

my very wonderful MIL actually made a few things for us yesterday in between packing etc before leaving, so we were all set for dinner last night. but today is a new day...and i have so much time on my hands. so i scoped the fridge and took inventory. we have some really good veggies..and since my palatte has changed more toward veggies...i was craving really yummy ones today. and it helps if i can do something in front of the tv :P so i decided to make okra curry and beans mezhukkupuratti (stir fryish).

well the first step is... call your mom and get the recipe. i think this may become a daily task. but i want to learn how my mom does it... everything she makes is so good. and its not just cliche.. my mom can realllyy cook.

here are the notes i took (welcome to 2010...i took notes on my laptop...can't find paper):
wash okra, cut in small discs
half onion
green chilli two-halved

saute w salt, oil

1 tablspn chilli pepper
2 tblspn coriander
.5 teaspn turmeric


garam masala lil bit

cook on medium heat

coconut milk
cook on medium heat


in small fry pan, mustard seed and diced onions
wash, cut beans in one inch
half onion
green chili two halfed

steam w lil water, salt, .5 tspn turmeric, on medium until water evaporates

pour oil, close if beans are not cooked


no other instructions from me...just writing it down so i don't good luck with that try it on your own... :) really its not too hard...the first one is like a regular milky curry. the second u just gotta saute it until its fresh but fried...very much to ur own liking. good luck!

Monday, February 22, 2010


So much has happened and i've had so many ideas for blog posts but i never sit and write it out. my brain is full though. cooking topics seem to be easier to write about.

i made chicken again today and beef curry over the weekend. i'm having serious issues with consistency. i can't ever seem to get the same curry as the time before. i guess that comes with practice. my MIL is leaving next week so i will have to cook more....hopefully it will help with my recipes but will my two subjects be willing to eat it?!

my challenge will be one very picky eater and one vegetarian so this should be interesting...

i also made tuna cutlets for a special occasion. my first time ever and they taste fabulous. first u gotta mince up from onion and garlic and ginger (three musketeers for indian cooking) and some green chilis. u fry it up in a little oil. add the next threes: coriander, chili, and turmeric. add a can of tuna and mix everything up real well. kinda squish it. add some garam masala. chop up some curry leaves and throw it in. next, separate an egg and put the yolk in the fish mixture but keep the whites for the glue for breadcrumbs. mix up the yolk and the mixture until it kinda sticks together, you should still be on medium heat. next...beat up the white and get some breadcrumbs ready. my MIL gave me homemade breadcrumbs which was amazing because my parents have always bought breadcrumbs (italian flavor), but i didn't really see a difference between the two in the end result. shape the cutlets with a spoon because they should be flat ovals. heat up oil enough to deep fry. then dip the cutlet in the egg whites, then breadcrumbs and fry. i garnished it with red onion rings that were soaked in vinegar. one can of tuna makes 10 cutlets--and in a fishless house that is a lotttt of cutlets for one person.


Tuesday, February 9, 2010


I wish I had something fun to update with but my life is prettyyy normal right now. Nothing too exciting. The weekend went well; we met up with many new and old friends, mostly new to me. It's nice to finally know people in this new city.

I'm getting more comfortable with my new family, but of course i'm anxious to go home. It's going to be different I know, but I hope every second goes slowlyyy. :)

as far as recipes go, i hardly cook here and am still being spoiled by my MIL. She is leaving soon though, so I will have to start learning new recipes. We had leftover tart shells, so I made a apple crisper thing with apples in caramel sauce and topped with roasted cashews. Weird combo, and really it was created because thats all we had, but it tasted amazing. The cashews add to the butteriness of the crusts. I had also baked the crust a few weeks back and froze them in the backed form which made it taste even more pastry like for some reason.

I'm excited to eat my mom's food when I go home. mom cooks really well. :)

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

February Festivals

Happy February! I always get secretly excited during February because there is so much in our family during this month. Even though I don't celebrate my's always fun to turn a year older and have one day all about me. We also have 2 anniversaries and in the middle of it, Valentine's Day. This is my first Vday with my husband, and bf I guess... we've never been together... and strangely we will be in Colorado that day this year. So in the middle of all of the festivities...this year we have a reception as well. ANOTHER ONE. I dunno if i'm over the newlywed thing yet...or excited to be the middle of attention. What i amm excited about is going home, and seeing my friends and my family... and to celebrate my wedding with my real family--the people i grew up with all my life. I'm also excited to show off my husband after so many years of telling people of a random person in Canada.

My Canadian life is pretty regular. I'm feeling a little frustrated, just not being able to do anything. I feel stuck. I keep thinking of everything I've given up to come here...a car, my house, beautiful weather, knowing the roads, new money, the stores. I could have instantly started looking for a job, or work at my old workplace until I found a better one. Life would have been so easy. And this is only moving from the US to Canada. My parents moved from India to the US with two tiny kids! They not only had the problems that I was having, but no money, no language, no driving skills. I dunno how they did it...Marriage really makes you appreciate your parents a lot more.

But at the same time, seeing C everyday makes all of this worth it. I've waited 7 years to be with him and while I was living that luxury life I just wanted to leave it and be with him. Some nights, in the middle of the night he'll just hold me in his sleep and that is the best feeling ever. That's what I was longing for for so many years and its so wonderful. Something so simple like that makes all of this worth it. Baby C i love you so much and just know this is right.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

weekend foodie.

There are two things that are easier when you are frustrated with the world and people around you: reading the Bible and writing. Blogs (especially mine) depict people as being so angry, opinionated, and aggressive because people write the most when life throws lemons at them. Likewise, I've also felt the need to write today. The reason will remain unrevealed...but I do have a good recipe.

I made Cauliflower Masala this weekend to take to a friend's house for dinner. I was a bit nervous...firstly being in my MIL's kitchen, secondly battling with her many years of experience, and finally to have an audience to present my food to.

My mom makes this dish, not very often since it takes a few extra steps to get it just right...but whenever she does it is everyone's favorite.

For one medium head of cauliflower, first cut it into bite size flowerettes. peel and cut 1 large potato into similar size pieces. in about 3 tblspn oil, sautee and almost fry the veggies until its translucent and brownish. then transfer to another plate. in the previous pan saute onions, ginger and garlic until soft then add 3 tbsp coriander pwd, 2 tbsp chilli pwd, and 1 tsp turmeric. toast the spices and add a pinch of whole cumin. put the veggies back in and add 3 medium juicy tomatoes. add 2 tbsp of yogurt and cover and cook for about 10-15 mins. at the end add coriander leaves.


Thursday, January 21, 2010

easy peasy fruit tartlettes

i actually made food today. a dessert nonetheless which is very rare for me. but it was a practice round for another day when it has to be perfect--so u can tell how much baking scares me. this was easy though-more like assembling, less baking.

they were cute little fruit tartlettes. EASY PEASY! First you buy pre made pie crust... which come in all sorts of sizes. big and medium. i chose eensy weensy ones--individual servings. then place these crusts on a baking sheet and bake for about 12-15 mins at 375 degrees. take them out and let them cool. while they are baking you can make custard with bird's custard powder. be careful of how much you make, the tartlette cups are tiny...and a few tablespoons of custard powder can go a long way. the proportions are 1:1 custard powder to sugar, and then add milk (one cup for every tbsp of custard). whisk and let cool. once everything is cooled...fill the crust with custard and top with beautiful fruit assortment.

i just kept it in the fridge until we were ready to gobble it down. it was quite good.

we have been wii obsessed in my new house and spend hours playing it everyday. its really quite sad how fast the evenings go by and how slowwww my days are. i'm always so anxious to see my husband but the evening goes so fast i feel like i only see him for 15 mins.

we looked at dogs again today...we've done that a lot. 3 times so far out of the few times we meant physically. I don't think we'll ever buy one...but the process makes me feel good. it feels good to plan a future...a future for our family... just me and him. we are both so close with our families that it has been hard to distinguish our new family life from me being added onto his old family. so puppies remind me that we are a family as well.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

bored bored bored. i'm so bored. i'm feeling left out from my own family and haven't completely connected with the new one.

Thursday, January 7, 2010


hello world. my new life is sooo slow. i don't know if i'm frustrated by it... or just bored of it. its funny how the things you crave the most can irritate you later. ie. time and relaxation is driving me nuts now. I think some of it has to do with the MIL being here. I feel awkwardness like we should both we hanging out with each other, but we both like to do our own things.

regardless i've been watching tons of tv that i didn't get to watch before since i didnt have cable. i've also been eating more fruits. I thought i'd lose weight here, but with a MIL that loves spoiling her children and with strong indian background, we are always eating. i gotta stop.

i'm impressed by her style of cooking. its very fast and simple. she doesn't slave over the stove like my mom. my mom needs everything to be perfect, each piece cut exactly the same, and everything should taste absolutely perfect. she also cooks in larger quantities which takes longer to cook. here we only cook for a day so small quantities are made, but we have new dishes every day. they are also a prominently vegetarian family, so each meal is full of delicious, numerous vegetable dishes. The meat on the other hand is whipped together in a couple of minutes.

its interesting to see how different each family is. I married into a christian, malayalee family just like mine, but they are still so different. they think im very quiet but i am. i just don't have much to say anymore, i dont do much, and don't have any new adventures.

i've been counting down the days but im not sure til what. im going home next month and i am looking forward to that. and then.. counting down to a new life? maybe till i can get my old life back? impossible. and indefinate.

Monday, January 4, 2010

To be or not to be productive!

AH! blogposts are swimming in my head. The end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010 has been so new and so crazy, full of ideas for new blogs. But I feel like I'm in a rut where there is too much to write and too little organization. Today though I am going to be productive.

I like how my productive consists of blogging, laundry, yoga, and watching tv. Out of all the things that has happened so far, I am so glad I am done with school. Which means productivity does not equal homework, essays, reading, studying. EW.


Let me rewind and unwind my last few weeks.

I GOT MARRIED! To C!! My bestest friend for the last 5 years, whom I've had so many butterflies for and so many fights with and in the end will always love. =)

We had a beautiful wedding, in India like I've always dreamt of. Full of family and food, and beautiful clothes and church and love.

We spent a couple beautiful days in Dubai which was absolutely amazing. What a wonderful place it is. Too bad I didn't keep up with my 365 days of pictures because I have some beauuttifful pictures I'd like to share.

I have a husband! It is so wonderful having someone to sleep next to. My favorite part of the day is when we get into bed. The hugs are so tight we just become a pile of arms and legs.

Now we are back in Toronto. Snowy, cold Toronto. I miss home, and my family and warmth. But the weather back home is pretty much the same.

My new husband has gone to work and I'm left by myself to be productive.

The first thing I've ever cooked for my husband: Kerala Style Chicken Curry.
His sister said he never remarks on if food is good or not so i shouldn't be concerned with that. But my baby came and told me he liked it. Without me even asking :)

He's so different in person, and so different with his family. This is so exciting learning to love a whole new person.