Monday, July 25, 2011

...and back.

I left my last post anging. I just couldn't write anymore...then I went to Walmart. Nothing a little retail therapy can't fix :)

On my drive home I realized even though I have so much going on in my head, I can't write it down because...

because it means I've admitted it to the whole world. That I've accepted it...and proclaiming it to the whole world is hard... its... scary. What if someone else reads it? what if someone thinks I'm talking about them. What will happen if my barrier is torn down and people find out how I really feel inside? But the best blogs have all their feelings displayed. That's what makes me add them to my daily subscription. I want to be free though. My mind is getting heart is feeling lonely. I need to let it out before I explode at the wrong time on the wrong person. So here we go... I will be honest, I will let it go...some censorship might be allowed though.
hi blog,

sigh living here makes my words short, my patience large, my freedom limited, but my brain full. And you my blog is the place I should be exploded into. #2 in 2 days.

I talk to myself so much here...Sometimes I feel the only real friend I have here is God. And thank god God moves around with you where ever you go.

But at the same time I feel so scared to write it down.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

...and 5 months later...

Oh blog... I am so sorry I have ignored you. It has been so long and I haven't even told you why. I finally got a job! and I'm a permanent employee. It isn't really in my field but any experience working is good experience at this point. I've had so many new adventures since my last post. There are so many issues that i've wanted to talk about and i will try to write down in the next couple weeks. I don't want to forget the issues I'm going through so I must write it down.

So after Valentine's day time, I ended up going to a New Immigrants welcome workshop. I've known about this workshop for a while, but it was hard for me to accept that I am an immigrant...that these kind of workshops are geared toward me and not only people with accents and far away countries. Let me tell you it was a fun and relieving experience. That week, 3 out of the 7 participants had moved from the US to Canada -- just like me. People without accents, people who identify more with the Canadians than the other immigrants, people who missed Chipotle and Olive Garden, people who had everything in the US, and...people who moved for love. It was nice to meet them. However, I made a very good friend who moved from Malaysia and around that same time I met someone at the Red Cross who moved from Kuwait. It's been nice having some of my own friends who are struggling with the same things as me.

After all of this... i finally got a job. That in itself is so different. Yes I've worked hard before, but working while having a family is HARD. Working while having a family and arthritis is even harder. So much so that I had to call my mom and have her visit just to get my sanity back. But the job is good...just during the week...weekends and holidays off. They sent us on a trip to Chicago.

So much has happened in this time and I can't condense it down to this post. I promise to write more often this week. I have a lot I want to talk about and want to write down to remember in the future. I love going back to my old posts and reading what I was going through at that time, I know my problems right now will be minuscule in the future.