Tuesday, October 26, 2010


i realized that i'm slowly becoming my mom. its so dreadful and something that i don't want at all...but it seems so inevitable. one time we went to india and had planned this super long tour around south india. our first stop was chennai, then mysore, then mangalore. we werer going to do a 10 day trip by train. it was quite fun, we visited family on the way and got to see a lot of places in such a quick time. i really liked seeing the mysore palace and its extraordinary architecture. naturally when we got back to kerala everyone asked how our trip was. My dad, my sister and i were soooo excited to tell everyone how it was and how much we enjoyed it. But my mom's response? "oh it was tiring" everytime someone asked us about it she said it was tiring. We got really mad at her and told her she has a negative attitude. She does usually look for the negative in things and try to argue with everyone--its just her nature.

So the other night my hus and i went swimming. he asked me how i was liking it and i was "its tiring, my legs hurt a lot." as soon as i said it...i wish i could take it back. he scrunched his face and said "are you always complaining?" i felt so bad at that moment. he had set up this whole swimming thing, bought me a new swimsuit etc. i do tend to complain a lot. with my body issues...a lot of things are painful but i guess it is just as hard being around someone complaining about it as well. sometimes i feel like i have a right to complain because i have an actual physical problem. but no one likes being around a complainer. i've decided to not be so complainy anymore. i want to be a positive person (i used to be a positive person). but sometimes at the end of the day...i feel like my husband is the person i should be the most honest to. i guess though, you just gotta suck it up and live.