Day Two of MBFIW

Day Two of MBFIW-- Today was THE shopping day that every India girl dreams of where she picks everything in reds and golds that attracts the most attention to herself. I already had a similar day in America picking out my wedding dress, but I've always imagined myself wearing a saree with tons of gold. Unfortunately the fashion for Catholic weddings in Kerala is a wedding gown and the price of gold is out the roof. But in Indian weddings we get to change! So I got a red saree with a lot of gold work for the reception. I bought a diamond necklace and gold jewelry but I can't believe how much this costs! I could buy a decent car with this much money. Buying these three things took the whole day, and traveling 85 kms takes 3 hours here so we just got home a few hours ago.

There were still some disappointments, I didn't receive the bridesmaids' sarees yet, my mom didn't really like her choice for her own saree. And with these gold prices I didn't get all new stuff, I'm wearing some of my old pieces as well.

On the other hand my dad and sis are coming soon and C is coming tomorrow. I don't know when I get to see him but my stomach has butterflies and I'm so excited to start my life with him. Plus I think he's so hot.

A little info for the foodie in me: I had biryani today from a muslim restaurant--pretty good but I think American places have better biryani. Also had sardines which sounds awful in english but it is one of the best foods in Kerala. I'm still waiting for my puffs which hopefully I'll get tomorrow.

Day one of My-Big-Fat-Indian-Wedding

INDIA--Day one of My-Big-Fat-Indian-Wedding. Just got off the plane this morning and India is always an eye opener to me. The life here is so opposite of life in America. For one, everyone thinks its such a hassle to travel in the US but Indian airports are just so different. Its crowded and small, loud and inefficient. We landed two hours before we could get out of the airport. Who has two hours to waste in America. The people are so loud, it even started as we boarded a plane to Kuwait from NY. The gate was getting so noisy. And the people were so pushy.

Its Christmas time in Kerala so the houses are covered in stars and decorations. People get up early in the morning and leisurely take time to read the newspaper and have homemade breakfasts. They drive very expertly here to the point where my heart skips a beat due to fear. And its hot here, even in December. and humid.

So far I've eaten, showered and slept. I'm staying at my uncle's house and our house is empty but being cleaned for this hungama of a wedding. I'm the first one here and waiting for all my relatives to still come in so a little bored at this point. At least I have internet this time which is such a luxury and something I never thought would happen in Kerala.

Tomorrow starts our shopping for the wedding, so excited but I hope I have enough energy and tolerance for the heat to get through these few weeks.

its raining cats and dogs

having a hard time focusing after 3 very productive days. if only i can keep it going and finish proud! everything has finally hit me. im feeling super emotional, nervous, sad, happy, scared. i can't believe these are my last few days in colorado... my home. everything that i am is because of this place and the people here. im getting emotional about stupid things too... like i can't eat my favorite foods anymore, i can't watch the shows i want on my own schedule etc. i didn't think it would be so hard adding someone into your life.

the relationship i've had is purely of convenience. we don't really bother each other, and the distance allows for a lot of individuality. Now that i have to combine two lives, i'm scared that i will lose mine in it.

i also can't believe these are my last few days of school. i actually have to be an adult now. and find. a. job. ew. i have to actually work, and make money, and pay off loans, and finance, and buy cars and things. i have to work actual hours and not just part time. and after all of that i have to be a wife.

i can't just leave the dishes for my parents to do. i can't just eat whenever i want. i gotta do family stuff.

ah. and i'm going to india. i need to pack, i need to clean up my life from here. and move.
MOVE. via India. why did i think this was a good idea.

i'm nervous about the wedding. what if it turns out ugly, what if i look awful in india with the rain and humidity. what if i gain weight and don't fit in the dress.

oh but i've been waiting so long. 5 yrs? 6? to be with this person. to move and join him and begin. we didn't like the distance remember?

our dreams are coming true. we've waited so long and here it is.

Thursday mumblings.

These last few weeks, I spend so much time sleeping. I don't know what it is... I don't know if its because I get overwhelmed with my homework and ignore it by sleeping or if I my lingering cough is really burdening my body. But all I ever want to do is sleep. Today I took a 2.5 hr nap, when I have tons of stuff I could be doing! blah

This daylight savings etc is driving me crazy as well.

I also have a mad man teacher on Thursday...who is the most egotistical, stuck up, cockiest man I've ever met. And all my life a lot of my friends thought Indian men were the most stubborn--they have yet to meet this... german guy.

After tonight, I'll have 3 weeks of school/finals left and 1 week for fall break/TG. Its my last thanksgiving here since Canadians celebrate it in October. I also found out they don't go all crazy like Americans with the feast either...so I want to enjoy this one as much as I can. I have some good recipes I'd like to try out this year.

Well I must get dressed and go to my dreaded class.

Every 2 months or so...

... I've been meaning to sit down and blog for so long. Its amazing how fast time flies and I don't realize it until I look at the last time I had blogged. So much has been going on, and that just makes time move faster. In the past two months I've had 2 bridal showers, a trip to Toronto, dress fittings, 100s of invitations sent out, thank you cards to be written, and tickets booked for India.

The wedding is soon approaching. I had a fantastic trip to Toronto 2 weeks ago, but I think I left my heart there. I am so excited to move out there and be with my hunny. We've had some good talks and got along very well! I wanted to blog about the trip because we ate so much yummy food. A food blog requires a post after eating at the world's food capital. Every time I tell people I'm moving to Toronto, they always mention all the food I can eat. And eat I did. We are obsessed with breakfasts. Here is a list of a few places:

• Spring Rolls-Mango Tango Chicken
• Hero Burger
• Golden Griddle
• Jimmy the Greek
• Shawarmas
• The Host (Indian)
• South Indian food!
  
• Mucho Burrito

and so much more that I can't remember. And we even have more places we wanted to... but our taste buds could only take so much....

I've stopped working, and have so much time on my hands. I'm just trying to relax and enjoy the rest of my time at home.

Its so strange to think that I will have a new home soon, but at the same time exhilarating and freeing. I'm really looking forward to it. And looking forward to having my love with me all the time.

UPDATE: I just went back and read my last posts... and they are so depressing. The Toronto trip has really transformed C and I and we get along so well when we are together. When we are apart it is naturally harder because our lives do not interact, and we can go on having separate lives and having a relationship at the same time. But in Toronto... everything was so good, and so complete. I am not having any more doubts. I am absolutely certain and so absolutely happy.

pleasantries

pretty good day today. it feels good to have some peace again. had another dress fitting. weddings suck up money like crazy. oh but i loveee that dress. i wish i was wearing it for longer than just an hour. i hope i end up loving my saree just as much as well. the tickets are finalized also. just a few more things and shopping for gifts and we'll be on our way,

im getting nervous about the canada trip. i've never been with c for so many days. i hope we dont get tired of each other. i hope we get along. atleast i always have the hotel room to go back to. it feels like a trial run.

Focus/Woozah?

I can't focusss. I can't focus when things are like this. I need to talk to u for my days to go well. I hate who I've become. When did I become so cold. I hate who u've become. When will it ever get better? There are so many good things going on in life. I feel awful. Everything hurts. not physically... just...drained and damaged like. Remember how it felt to be on cloud 9? I don't know if I'm ready to be an adult. but I though with you by my side I could learn, I could transform, I could become. But now i'm lonely, and bitter, and mean. I'm never mean. This is too new and I hate being this way.
Things I need to work on:
Smiling at people
Realizing that other people did not do anything to you
Stop yelling at people

lost 10

i had a doctors appointment today. its so strange being a patient when i'm so used to be on the other side. the whole doctor's visit is so awkward as a patient. i truly believe in preventive care, yearly check ups but actually getting it done is such a drag. my favorite doctor is the eye doctor. its so easy.

everyone hates the weighing machine. some of our patients at my clinic demand that we do not check their weight. when we guide them to the weighing machine, they walk the other way. i had to check my weight today and...

i lost 10 lbs.

without really trying! i was so impressed. the nurse kept asking me questions, but i couldn't even answer cuz i was so into the weighing machine and then the number finally flashed. 10 lbs lost from last time. whoa

i feel so accomplished! if only i could do that two more times and lose about 20 lbs, i'll be at the weight that i want to be for life.

take 5

its been a hard couple of weeks. the starting of the semester (and the ending) is always so difficult. it takes a toll on your body and exhausts your mind. and if you have anything on top of that, you are completely brain dead.

this has been the last two weeks for me. although schoolwise this semester looks great, i have so much going on. i only have two classes i actually have to attend which is fantastic compared to the 5 days a week i was doing during spring semester. unfortunately, i havent been so environmentally friendly as before and have been driving everyday. but driving saves me a lot of time. and time seems so precious right now.

i have one day that i need to go work on my internship. i dunno how that is going to sprawl out. how will i remember everything from my past classes? im just shadowing this week so i hope i get a better idea.

i have one online class which is a little overwhelming. we are working as a group but the work is just hard.

then i have personal life which drives me nuts. everyone wants to know which color im choosing. which veil i want and which shoes look best. everyone wants to know if i want 6 bridesmaids and 2 flower girls. or eight and 4.

what i've realized through all of this is...the ceremony and the flowers, the clothes, and the jewelry just doesnt matter when 'it's' not there. when you have disconnected from me and i, you, none of this matter. i just want it to pass so that you and i can be we already. so that we dont have this barrier and we dont spend all our time driving each other crazy wondering if it will work. it has worked so far, 5 years as much, and i trust you so much. please allow yourself to trust too.

overall these last two weeks have been quite eventful but at the same time so not eventful. i have been gracious to hear two great secrets, buy one pair of lovely wedding shoes, pick up a beautiful dress, read a good book, and mingle and meet with new friends.

Priorities Part 1

have u read Like water for Chocolate before? Its a beautiful book about cooking and love. My two favorite things in life. Its about a woman's battles with her family and finding love and she pours her emotions into her recipes. Depending on her mood, the food comes out differently, more tasty or sometimes sickening.

I felt like her today. i read the book in high school and i dont even remember the main character's name, but the concept of the book will stay by me forever.

I look at cooking as such a therapeutic session. It calms me down when im frustrated and makes me focus when i'm stressed.

Today someone told me i need to get my priorities straight. How it hurts to hear the truth, and how hard it is to accept it. I've known this fact for so long since the second year of college. I need to get my priorities straight. Why is it that even though i've known this for so long, all i've done is added more priorities to the list instead of ranking the first few?

If i have my priorities set right i could do so much better in life. I would get better grades. I would be healthier. I would be able to read more and do things that i truly enjoy.

Last month I tried a 31 day boot camp and as this month starts, should I attempt to figure out my priorities?


my list:

• school
• work (which i'm quitting soon)
• working at the store
• church
• kerala assoc
• friends
• love
• reading
• exercise
• yoga
  
• cooking

Things i'll be adding to the mix pretty soon:

• internship
• wedding planning
• graduation

I need to make my love one of my priorities. He seems to be the one thing that i can push to the end of the list every time. Because in my mind he is still a chatbox on my computer. I need to understand that he is my fiance. FIANCE.

I need to exercise and I need to do good in school. I am going to do less church stuff and more spiritual growing.

So while contemplating all of this, I made a family favorite: meatballs in cream of mushroom
This recipe takes so much work, mixing ground beef with ginger, garlic, green peppers. Molding them into huge meatballs, dipping them in egg white wash and then flour. Frying it and then finally baking it with cream of mushroom soup. so many steps but it is delicious.

I just hope all my anger and frustrated emotions didn't ruin the taste this time.

What if?

I had ice cream with one of my bestest friends every the other night and our main topic of conversation were what ifs? we are both at a very similar stage of our lives, mine moving faster than her's but both dealing with the same excitement, anxiety, and doubts. as we doubt our new decisions our conversation fell into many what ifs. lately, thinking about these has made me feel more sure about getting married. i'm such a huge believer in destiny and i don't believe in these what ifs because God has already decided which path i am to take.

what if i was never in that chat room that morning?
what if we forgot each other when we stopped talking during christmas break?
what if W never gave up on us? would i be staying in the US? in the orthodox faith?
what if i stayed in the US, would I have become a PA? would i have become a medical student, maybe ending up somewhere in the caribbeans? what if i had really studied in school?

if you think like this you may go crazy. you can extend it into anything. my parents met each other through my mom's brother. my dad and my uncle were living in north india when my uncle proposed my dad marries my mom.

what if my uncle never went to north india? only half of me would come to america.
which half would it be? my big eyes would stay in india with my dad, my small nose would come along. if my parents weren't together, i would have never met my sister.

my friend kept questioning what if we continued dating the same people from high school. what if she didn't go away for school. she wouldn't have become this amazing woman she is now. she wouldn't have the career that she has wanted all her life.

and finally, what if these people we are engaged to are not "the ones"? how can we really be sure? i believe you grow into loving people. sometimes they don't have to be the one. there may be many.

but the more i think about this the more sure i am.
i was suppose to be in that chat room that day.
i was suppose to meet a boy from canada.
he was suppose to be my best friend.
he was suppose to make such an impact on me that we continued to talk for years.

somehow we were destined to meet each other, be with each other, love each other. even though we are different i'm a little different from everyone, even though we grew up in different places you can't compare colorado indians to other places, and even though we have only met a few times: sometimes you just know its right.

Apparently i can blog from text messages now...Will this keep me blogging more often? I hope so.

St. Patty's Day Dinner

I'm so sorry again, I've been so busy and unmotivated to blog for a while. Firstly i had lost my camera memory card. But I found another one, and I will beg for forgiveness by giving you an amazing dinner idea. I've given up meat for Lent so vegetarian meals are a must at my house, but I've been craving salmon so i had to run to the grocery store today after work and make some. conveniently my class was cancelled so i had tons of time to get stuff done-unfortunately, this recipe was stuck in my head and i could not concentrate on anything other than getting the recipe onto a plate! this is inspired by macaroni grill's and TGIF's salmon.

1/2 lb salmon (for two servings)
2 tblspoon soy sauce
1 tblspoon worchestaire sauce
2 tblspoon Eating Right Poppy Seed and Caramelized Onion Low Fat Salad Dressing (whatevs, use something that is sweet-honey, thousand island, honey mustard)

1. clean fish and marinate in mixture of sauces (i love condiments)
2. leave for 30 mins
3. heat fry pan with a little bit of oil (put aside the remaining marinade for topping)
4. fry/cook fish on one side for a good 7 mins
5. flip fish over and cook again for 5 more mins (make sure u cook for 7 mins at first, dont get anxious or else it will crumble ie. refer to figure 1)

Orzo Pasta with Spinach
1/2 onion diced
8 0z frozen spinach
1/4 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 can of cream of asparagus (or use a buillion chicken cube, or stock or something-i just had leftover soup)
1.5 cup orzo
salt
water
oil

1. saute onions in oil until light light brown
2. add spinach, cook together till kinda creamy (4-5 mins)
3. add chili powder and soup, create a really smooth cream (if using stock-mix in chili first... then add the stock with the orzo)
4. add orzo and 2 cups water
5. add some salt to taste and bring to boil
6. simmer covered until water evaporates

Walnut Topping
1.cut up a handful of walnuts
2. place remaining marinade in the fry pan u used for the fish and simma down
3. add 1 teaspoon butter and 1 tblspoon brown suga
4. add the walnuts
5. make a thick sauce

serve like the picture! serves two.. and u will have extra orzo for later. it was delish!!!

missed you.

i am so sorry blog. and blog readers. blogging has just been the last thing on my list of things to do lately. although i really do think about you a lot, and what i want to write, and what pictures i want to share and what recipes i need to put up. but there is always something, either homework, being sick, not having a camera for a while.

we have missed so much, even just in the last week-valentine's day, my birthday, mardi gras, lent starting.

i am writing this post at 11:14 pm while stuffing my face with grilled cheese and chocolate chip cookie bar, so i will just make this a housekeeping clean up post.

i found an amazing baking blog which gives you recipes were all sorts of creative ideas. i really envy those of you who can bake because even though i can cook a 5 course meal, baking a dessert is always disastrous for me! for my birthday my dad made this huge cookie pizza in about 15-20 mins, and i made fun of him and we died of laughter cuz the cookie wasnt cooked all the way through but he had to surprise me and frosted it but the frosting melted. BUT! it was so yummy. so ooey gooey that night and then so chewy later on. we've been eating it all week and its exactly the right consistency of a big chewy cookie you would get a a deli.

lent has started as well, so i'm on a new vegetarian cookie craze. giving up meat hasnt been that hard this week, but i'm deathly sick so i havent had quite an appetite anyways. i did make soy keema though.

• onions, garlic, ginger
• chilli powder
• coriander powder
• turmeric
• garam masala powder
• soy granules
• tomatoes
• ketchup
• salt
  
• water
• peas

saute diced onions, garlic, and ginger till brown. while its sauteing, soak soy granules in warm water, then squeeze water out, leave to the side. add the powders into onions-sweat out the spices. add diced tomatoes. let it dissolve a little. add soy and water. bring to boil. add ketchup (my fav ingredient), salt and peas for garnish. yum! tastes just like ground beef.

did you know i love books? i got two amazing books for my birthday. i just finished reading A heartbreaking work of staggering genius / by Dave Eggers. which was strange but i read it anyways.

at work im finally getting my own official desk after 2 yrs of working there. im so excited!

28:365 firesticks

here is an interesting art portfolio. this artist did a piece on different pictures on indian matchboxes. didn't know matches had such character. i chose this one because... i think in hindi kismet means luck? so to me it looks like it says, "if lucky, these matches can help you light your house on fire" let me know what your interpretations of this one and the others are.

27:365

not their best.. but many more can be found here.

School is going great. Work is finally going great after a year and a half. Life is good; I am finally so happy. Now if i can just make that one person happy. bleh!

i need to make birthday plans.

valentines day is next week!

I love Jesus but I drink a little

26:365

25:365

what i've learned from this project is that i can't capture beauty as well as i intended. i'm just not skilled at it. and its kind of scary. it means that every time i gasp from true beauty (of the mountains, the sky, a flower, a friend, artwork, or life's pleasures) i gotta remember it. i can't always depend on my olympus digital camera. i have to use my brain. when i have a crappy day i need to remember the beautiful mountain range the day before or how the rain lingered on the grass. i'm not giving up-im going to continue, but honestly these pictures do not do justice for what i really see during my days. i apologize.

im giving my sister the camera for a couple days, so most pictures will be from the internet till next week.

ps. this project is hard, its hard for me to keep up with it, so there will be more massive updates like today, where a whole week or so will be updated withing 15 mins.

24:365

23:365

please read Ultrabrown

22:365

work holiday party-two of our good friends. had tons of fun. had lots of food. had lots of drinks.

21:365

20:365

19:365

18:365

this is my attempt at creativity. if you notice the bottom left side of my dash it says 5 degrees F. IT WAS SO FREAKIN COLD TODAY. walking from the bus to class was awful today. i thought i was going to die. but i didn't!

class has become soo stressful, i gotta get back to my routine. working and school and homework and this new blog project of mine is too much. but i know i can do it and in the end everything is going to turn out really good. i'll have a career. a career. oh i can't wait!

so i apologize for not blogging as much. but i will go back and take pictures for days 16 and 17. so make sure you use google reader so that you can tell when i update the older posts.

16:365

This was our clean up brigade for the day: a few of us at church decided to take on a huge task of cleaning every nook and cranny of the church. and we had success. we did such a good job and i am so proud. this picture was taken during exhaustion, kfc eating, pre emergency room visit, post tons of carpet hauling to the garbage. we have so much fun when we all work together!

15:365

Larimer square was totally beautified for christmas this season, but it hasnt been taken down yet... so maybe its there for good. its so glamorous and i love walking under it. reminds me of indian weddings.

i did the unthinkable today, i joined a gym. its fun. and not too expensive. i think this will be good for me.

14:365

found this picture online, by a very skilled artist named Waswo x waswo. what a creative name and a beautiful picture. this was my favorite one out of the collection. i love how the guy is so "cool" and the girl is so traditional. and i think the overbearing bag just totally brings the whole going to the market, riding on the scooter look that u see quite often in india together. im surprised he didn't include a couple of babies in between the two adults.

writing intelligent entries is getting very tough as i get home later and later in the evening and as i run out of energy throughout the week.

Thursday is a rough day for me. very longg hard class after a long day at work. staying in downtown for so long really sets u in a different mindset. i usually catch the 10:30 bus, which means i walk through downtown to the station and pass many stores, restaurants, bars... and clubs. Downtown folks take "thirsty thursdays" seriously. It is so hard for me to walk by people who are having so much fun, while i'm dragging myself home. People are going to shows, eating dinner, have dates, dancing, and drinking. The streets smell sooo good, like beer and smoke and vodka.

A coworker and i decided that if we didnt have jobs and responsibilities to attend to the next day, we would definately become alcoholics. If i didn't have such strict parents, if i didnt live at home, if i could throw down money for hotel rooms, or if i had enough friends to just crash on a couch--i would probably take a couple shots on my way to the bus.

i am so jealous of the people on the streets on weeknights. today the weather encouraged people to swarm the downtown streets. i was tempted by clubs I've gone to with friends, by bars that are perfect for happy hours. bouncers invitingly try to get you into their hot spot every night. unfortunately, i get the feeling that backpacks and textbooks are not allowed...

13:365

I had made this wordle this weekend as a cover photo for my 365 album. this morning i stumbled over an article regarding wordles-and inaugurations! Someone took the words from yesterday's speech and made it into wordles and compared obama's wordle with bush, clinton, lincoln. kinda interesting, but not very accurate. wordle lets you shuffle around the word and each time u shuffle different words are emphasized. so this comparison is a complete fabrication, but interesting still. plus it gave me a chance to show off my wordle. strangely, i have quite a few similar words as obama's cloud.

i've started school again and so it is harder to stay up and post. i've been exhausted lately. however, it does give me a chance to see cooler things, since downtown is full of interesting people places and things.

i have an evaluation at work tomorrow. so i'm slightly nervous about that! so glad the week is almost over.

12:365

today was a beautiful day. historical day. hopeful day. i spent so much time trying to fix these pictures together, i dont have much time to write about it. i felt so proud to be american today. to be a non white american. i am so proud of obama, his family, everyone who was at the national mall, and of course us voters.
picture #1: my friend brought a tv to work! but we couldnt get reception... after much frustration we decided to watch the show on the spanish channel with the sound down and the radio up high. worked pretty well. #2 our office intently watching, left side are coworkers, right side are our patients! time almost stopped at 10 am this morning. #3 two great men, as one door closes another one opens.

please read one of my favorite bloggers' account of her day for the full inaugural summary. her writing is really good and she was very up close and personal.

11:365

I love this picture, I've cheated again and stole another wedding pic from someone. but forget the bride and the flowergirls, i loveee the love connection going on in the corner. I wish love was that simple. I wish it wasnt associated with so many labels, ceremonies, or so many complicated emotions. i just wish it was simple friendship. pleasure.
like these two, having the time of their life just giggling in the corner while this huge event is going on on their left. I love that they're telling secrets that we'll never know. I love that they look like a mini bride and groom. I love that the boy is looking straight at her-it shows some sense of honesty. I love how the girl is smirking... like she's beginning to feel all those emotions that corrupts friendship in the first place. too cute i tell ya.

10:365

i saw nothing cool today except this truck. reminded me of my name. im grumpy. so i have nothing to write either. today was just a boring day. we had an beautiful mass at church. i hung out with my cousin and a friend. i ate good food. i watched brothers and sisters. but nothing spectacular happened.

i'm in denial about a lot of things.

9:365 Baby Love

I thought this was cute! This kid is crazy funny and speaks malayalam like crazy. i wish i could get some tutoring services from him. nothing too exciting happened to me... weird.. nothing to write about. i sat in on a women's Bible study a few years ago, where all the moms' only concern were their children, and the kids' futures... and even their grandchildren. i thought it was the lamest thing ever. how can people be so self-less? how can all your concerns be focused on these little rascals that suck energy, time and effort out of you. they don't even listen to you. they don't ever appreciate you. but they are so so cute. and whenever i see a baby or a kiddo, i just want my own! lame lame. i find myself thinking about my kids.. and things i need to tell them about the world.. and my grandkids.. and how i want them to be successful. only a few years have passed and i've fallen in the trap too...

8:365

.... i'm a little hesitant to start this post. yes its about exercising. its about weight. its about... as oprah says... "falling off the wagon" (i had to throw that in there! its the phrase for 2009?)

but don't worry, its not a depressive post. I've actually been doing really good. Unknown to you I even have a blog just for my weight issues.

So yesterday I went to an actual facility to workout today. Usually I just run at home, so i was feeling very intimidated to go somewhere to do it. I am so overwhelmed by exercising somewhere where other people can see me... and judge me. So it is one of the fears I need to get over this year. Oprah calls this the "clean-before-the-maid-comes-and-judges-you" phenomenon. I want to work out at home and start looking good before I run around that lake in front of the whole neighborhood.

Anyhow the workout didn't go that great, I left the house too late, I spent most of my time getting used to the machines and I had already made plans right afterwards. Anyhow I think i will go back, at least once a week or so.

7:365 Yearbook Days

yearbook days

I have a beautiful bookcase full of classics, indian literature, adolescent lit, Bibles and prayer books, and tons of junk. Last night I couldn't sleep so I browsed my shelf and picked something that I havent look at for years: my senior year high school yearbook. Whoa. the memories were flowing like crazy. as a book, it wasnt the best yearbook i've seen but there were so many notes and remarks from friends i thought i couldn't live without and pictures of events we though were "so cool" and so important at that moment. I read through every farewell note from my friends and its funny to see where we have ended up. Most of my comments mentioned "med school" and "indian dancing" and "have a great summer." It should have been more like have a great life cuz a lot of them i havent seen since then. Funny how people say high school molds you into who you are, but it is only the beginning of what you really become. No, I didn't go to med school like I had dreamed.... but I work at a doctor's office? (give me some credit-i almost stuck to the goal!) I am so surprised how many people were inspired by my rants on indian culture and my dancing. Now that i think about it, i was such a nerd for doing lil mini dance shows in every class, but reading those comments made me realize how cool people thought it was. And no i dont dance as much anymore...but a lot of my characteristics started from those years, a lot of my morals and ethics were set at that age. sometimes i feel so stuck in high school though. maybe its because i still live here, right next to the school, right by our regular hang outs. maybe because unlike most students i really had fun in high school. highschool didn't just extend to the walls of our school for me, it was really a culture that extended into our neighborhoods, our mcdonalds, our libraries, every morning, every evening, weekdays and weekends-it was a lifestyle. i just have to learn how to live differently.

6:365 Wedding Bells

I dunno if these folks care that they are on my blog or not... but they are still in india so i cant ask! this is my cousin and her new husband-a picture from their reception in india. congrats to them! they are starting the domino effect of weddings in my immediate family. i'm gonna miss her so much cuz she is moving! but as much as i love her-im so tired of people telling me i'm next! i know already. u don't have to remind me. i know i'm moving. i know my wedding will be in india without my closest friends and family. BLAH.
i'm getting more and more nervous about this whole wedding extravaganza. everyone has so much advice and suggestions but... nothing is even planned yet. so stop telling me cuz when everything really starts happening i'm not gonna remember.
the only good advice i've gotten so far is: bring pillsbury frosting for the wedding cake cuz indian frosting is gross. (my sis is smart sometimes)

5:365

this is the reason i love driving to work every morning. my view is jaw dropping and i never get tired of it. the beautiful snow makes the mountains look amazing. and i love how it reminds me of college. our campus was so gorgeous on snowy days. this is also one of my most fav times of the day when the sun is only halfway shining. and... being the radio junky that i am, i'm usually listening to hilarious talk shows and dialing as fast as i can to win the prizes! i am so addicted to my talk shows, and it has been hard during the holiday season without them! so moral of the story is: don't be like me: driving, texting, dialing, laughing, drinking (coffee that is), remembering, snapping photos like me.

4:365

God's really up there and laughs at us sometimes

HA! I guess i spoke too soon about the gorgeous weather! i work to 1 hour of crazy snow in northern denver (but of course, followed by bright sunshine for the rest of the day). today is one of my last days before school starts so i did ... nothing! i ate some yummy waffles though (picture two, whipped cream and berries). don't you hate it when you only have one or two ingredients for a dish and never all of the items together? when you have milk, there is no cookies. when you have beans and cheese, there are no tortillas. i finally had waffles, berries, and whipped cream for this delicious favorite.

just a few notes...i did spend time "Sprucing" up the blog a little. please try to visit the links and blogs i'm following when you get a chance. there is a link for the 365 day project also, which will be awesome once i have more pictures in the series.

i'm reading a book called Gang Leader for a Day by Sudhir Venkatesh. very interesting and different from my usual Indian fiction. First of all its non fiction. Sudhir gets involved in poor black communities when researching for a graduate school sociology class. so far its interesting, will update when i am done.

also i watched Superstars of Dance, it's a creative show. Both entertaining and educational. I havent caught a performance by India yet, but i really like South Africa! I was disappointed by USA's representatives: all of our dances are "street" hip hop type. We should have picked something more American: Native American dancing, square dancing, tap dance?

3:365

crazy colorado weather today. this morning at church was cold. this afternoon was beautiful (picture 1) and the sunset was amazing (picture 2). i kinda cheated and put two pictures up-but the subject is the same-the infamous colorado sky! we have so many beautiful days, even though we are so extreme-snow one moment and 90 degrees the next, i feel like we are spoiled with wonderful weather. i love that i can walk around in summer clothes, barefoot in the grass in January! i hope i can adjust to other climates in new hometowns that seem to be in my near future!

congrats to slumdog millionaire for the 4 golden globe awards. i watched the movie again and love it just the same! hope you all get a chance to watch it.

2:365

SECOND ONE! i made it...

today i went to lunch with my old high school friends. WOW. everyone has become amazing adults. and wives. and husbands. and managers. and teachers. even home owners. where did the time go from us being over dramatic about prom dates to being 23 yr old adults? i love meeting up with these old friends cuz its not like my other friends. with these ones, we just pick up conversation exactly where we left on graduation day. we spend obnoxious amount of time at restaurants taking over 4-5 tables just talking about what we are doing, remininscing, and dreaming of our futures. this group is our safe zone-we can be who we are however we want to be with this group.
So these are the boys (i wish i had time to upload an old picture of them) i didn't get a picture of the others: left-->right
C-i went to elementary school, middle school, and high school with this guy!! we don't keep in touch that much, but he cracks me up and we always have that elementary/Northglenn/Fundamental Program (yea i was a nerd even in elementary school) connection.
R-grandpa: i met him in middle school in health class and throughout IB we have become really good friends. I have so many memories of hanging out and doing random things during the summers with R. and my mom and dad really like him so i was allowed to hang out with him whenever.
T-he cracks me up like crazy!!! i love it, and i miss him, and want to keep in touch with him much better. he has become so handsome. you've come a long way.
B-one of the best guys i know. again another middleschooler to high school friend to college friend. i'm glad we've kept in touch and have so many memories of doing projects and presentations with him! congrats on your amazing job!!

1:365

This is my first picture of the year post. SHOES! my sister and i went to payless today and got some great deals. i remember my mom used to take us shopping to kmart or target and drag us to the purse shoe section and look at accessories for what seemed like an hour or two. now my sister and i cannot go a week without buying a new pair of shoes, a new purse, new earrings, new scarf--SOMETHING!

funny how we're all turning into our moms slowly huh?
From left-up-right-down:
1.) black short boots with rounded toes-my sisters pair-today i found out that she has an abnormally large left foot
2.) brown boots-mine-this is the shoe that started the fiasco at payless...they are sooo comfy
3.) black sandals-mine/my mom's-perfect for spring/summer with my work clothes... and only $8
4.) loafers!-mine-my joint pain kills, so i needed a good sturdy closed toe shoe for work/school/riding the bus. im such a grandma

We're not all Doctors & Engineers

I've perfected Butter Chicken curry as of last night. the only thing left to do is a side by side taste test of my curry vs "restaurant" curry. but really, if you have restaurant curry around, why would you make your own? one day though i will because hopefully one day i will take my cooking seriously.

-like my parents do-

its amazing: its stereotyped that so many ABCDs are "forced" to become doctors, engineers, businessmen, lawyers, nurses... but i have to disagree. are we actually forced by our parents or by our community to become these things? or do we really choose to do it ourselves? are we just looking for job security-something when we were young, we believed was the only concern of our parents?

i think there are a few things that lead us in these directions.

growing up, i don't think we are well aware of all the opportunities in this world. most of the time, our parents only talk about the selected few approved careers. how would we know about anything else?

secondly, my parents never made me work as a teenager--or "allowed" me to work. so i wasn't even given the opportunity to learn that fast food places have huge advertising/marketing agencies, that IT fields had free lance writers to write their manuals, or health fields had huge administrations that care about the patients just as much as the doctors do.

my parents were neither doctors, engineers, nurses, or even gas station owners. they worked side by side with real American people-white people. even trailer trash sometimes (no offense, but many Indian's don't come in contact with those kinda people). they worked hard and had overtime hours.

But now my parents really believe in me, while learning to believe in themselves. they know you can succeed in America as long as you have a dream. Last night my dad was like what the heck are you doing working in health care, business, admin: go write a cookbook. go work with Rachael ray. teach people. encourage people. do something you are good at.

it makes me laugh actually. he's always encouraged this. first it was journalism, then my graphic design, now my cooking. he's always disagreed with my choice in health care. but i'm scared. what if i dont make it in the world of martha stewart, food network, and so many aspiring talent. where will i live? what will i eat? will i have money to go shopping? :) dont get me wrong-i truly care for health care, but my dad thinks my talent is definitely somewhere else.

so one day i will take my cooking seriously. hopefully when i move to the big city i can pursue it a little more. that's when i will do the side by side taste test. you'll have to wait till then for the recipe.

I Can Hear How You Feel

i wanted to document a very exciting moment today. we called india yesterday because a very distant relative's daughter got married. It was the most exciting sound ever-almost like movie weddings. there was so much going on in the background. people were so happy. the phone was passed to atleast 5 people, some we know, some we didn't, telling us how amazing everything was, how happy they are, how they felt blessed, how thankful they were to God.

i know in a couple days when i read back on this post i won't remember the sound exactly. but i think i crave that excitement of a wedding. i crave the happiness and assurance-everyone is certain that this is the right thing, at the right moment.

i dunno if i'll ever have that. not with the way things are going these days. everything is so awkward, it will probably be the most silent occurance ever. and that's not how i've imagined it. i wanted to be the bride who genuinely smiles in her wedding pictures.

yesterday-the aunt was excited, the grandpa was excited, the mom was happy in a sentimental way, the dad was grateful. the groom was ecstatic, his father was proud. even the girl. even she was happy.

new year, new you

i need to write up resolutions. i just dont want to commit. this year is going to be enough commitments as is.

i do need to lose weight as usual.

today i was in the car, driving, and sippin' slimfast when the car in front of me had the top part of a target bag peeking out saying "eat well"

oh the irony.

my photo thing didnt work either.. i cant find the camera!