Monday, May 3, 2010

The grass is greener on the other side...

I don't know if I have used this title already because grass has been on our minds for a couple of weeks now. My new hobby is gardening and making our perfect house look beautiful on the outside. It's also a super romantic, intimate outing with your hubby. Not only does he feel manly doing all the heavy lifting, shoveling, etc...he gets to watch you get creative and physical..grunts and all. I feel its so intimate because your partner sees you at your worst. You wear the most casual clothes you have, you get hot and sweaty...and you even feel sore the next day. It seems like such a vulnerable activity.

But i also came up with this title because i'm homesick. I feel like i just want one day to go back to life how it was....even if it includes a full day of work...a couple of classes...and going to bed alone. The life I'm living right now almost feels like a fairytale and sometimes I think with the next blink of the eye I'm going to go back into reality. No my fairytale isn't glamorous...but...its just so surreal.

I think i'm starting to really lose it with having so much time on my hands. I feel pathetic and feel like I'm losing my skills. I crave people interaction. As much as i've been trying to absorb this new city... I would give anything to drive on my old streets, walk into a Target, eat a McDouble and see my family.

But when I had all that...all i wanted to do was move to Canada. That was my excuse for everything while i was home...."sorry I can't do it...I'm moving to Canada."

Well Canada I'm here and I want a life. I don't want to be a full time housewife. I want a car. I want to know what each store is. I want to have friends here. I want to make memories. I want to feel like I belong here too.

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