lingering.

hello world. my new life is sooo slow. i don't know if i'm frustrated by it... or just bored of it. its funny how the things you crave the most can irritate you later. ie. time and relaxation is driving me nuts now. I think some of it has to do with the MIL being here. I feel awkwardness like we should both we hanging out with each other, but we both like to do our own things.

regardless i've been watching tons of tv that i didn't get to watch before since i didnt have cable. i've also been eating more fruits. I thought i'd lose weight here, but with a MIL that loves spoiling her children and with strong indian background, we are always eating. i gotta stop.

i'm impressed by her style of cooking. its very fast and simple. she doesn't slave over the stove like my mom. my mom needs everything to be perfect, each piece cut exactly the same, and everything should taste absolutely perfect. she also cooks in larger quantities which takes longer to cook. here we only cook for a day so small quantities are made, but we have new dishes every day. they are also a prominently vegetarian family, so each meal is full of delicious, numerous vegetable dishes. The meat on the other hand is whipped together in a couple of minutes.

its interesting to see how different each family is. I married into a christian, malayalee family just like mine, but they are still so different. they think im very quiet but i am. i just don't have much to say anymore, i dont do much, and don't have any new adventures.

i've been counting down the days but im not sure til what. im going home next month and i am looking forward to that. and then.. counting down to a new life? maybe till i can get my old life back? impossible. and indefinate.

To be or not to be productive!

AH! blogposts are swimming in my head. The end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010 has been so new and so crazy, full of ideas for new blogs. But I feel like I'm in a rut where there is too much to write and too little organization. Today though I am going to be productive.

I like how my productive consists of blogging, laundry, yoga, and watching tv. Out of all the things that has happened so far, I am so glad I am done with school. Which means productivity does not equal homework, essays, reading, studying. EW.

LOVEE it.

Let me rewind and unwind my last few weeks.

I GOT MARRIED! To C!! My bestest friend for the last 5 years, whom I've had so many butterflies for and so many fights with and in the end will always love. =)

We had a beautiful wedding, in India like I've always dreamt of. Full of family and food, and beautiful clothes and church and love.

We spent a couple beautiful days in Dubai which was absolutely amazing. What a wonderful place it is. Too bad I didn't keep up with my 365 days of pictures because I have some beauuttifful pictures I'd like to share.

I have a husband! It is so wonderful having someone to sleep next to. My favorite part of the day is when we get into bed. The hugs are so tight we just become a pile of arms and legs.

Now we are back in Toronto. Snowy, cold Toronto. I miss home, and my family and warmth. But the weather back home is pretty much the same.

My new husband has gone to work and I'm left by myself to be productive.

The first thing I've ever cooked for my husband: Kerala Style Chicken Curry.
His sister said he never remarks on if food is good or not so i shouldn't be concerned with that. But my baby came and told me he liked it. Without me even asking :)

He's so different in person, and so different with his family. This is so exciting learning to love a whole new person.

Day Two of MBFIW

Day Two of MBFIW-- Today was THE shopping day that every India girl dreams of where she picks everything in reds and golds that attracts the most attention to herself. I already had a similar day in America picking out my wedding dress, but I've always imagined myself wearing a saree with tons of gold. Unfortunately the fashion for Catholic weddings in Kerala is a wedding gown and the price of gold is out the roof. But in Indian weddings we get to change! So I got a red saree with a lot of gold work for the reception. I bought a diamond necklace and gold jewelry but I can't believe how much this costs! I could buy a decent car with this much money. Buying these three things took the whole day, and traveling 85 kms takes 3 hours here so we just got home a few hours ago.

There were still some disappointments, I didn't receive the bridesmaids' sarees yet, my mom didn't really like her choice for her own saree. And with these gold prices I didn't get all new stuff, I'm wearing some of my old pieces as well.

On the other hand my dad and sis are coming soon and C is coming tomorrow. I don't know when I get to see him but my stomach has butterflies and I'm so excited to start my life with him. Plus I think he's so hot.

A little info for the foodie in me: I had biryani today from a muslim restaurant--pretty good but I think American places have better biryani. Also had sardines which sounds awful in english but it is one of the best foods in Kerala. I'm still waiting for my puffs which hopefully I'll get tomorrow.

Day one of My-Big-Fat-Indian-Wedding

INDIA--Day one of My-Big-Fat-Indian-Wedding. Just got off the plane this morning and India is always an eye opener to me. The life here is so opposite of life in America. For one, everyone thinks its such a hassle to travel in the US but Indian airports are just so different. Its crowded and small, loud and inefficient. We landed two hours before we could get out of the airport. Who has two hours to waste in America. The people are so loud, it even started as we boarded a plane to Kuwait from NY. The gate was getting so noisy. And the people were so pushy.

Its Christmas time in Kerala so the houses are covered in stars and decorations. People get up early in the morning and leisurely take time to read the newspaper and have homemade breakfasts. They drive very expertly here to the point where my heart skips a beat due to fear. And its hot here, even in December. and humid.

So far I've eaten, showered and slept. I'm staying at my uncle's house and our house is empty but being cleaned for this hungama of a wedding. I'm the first one here and waiting for all my relatives to still come in so a little bored at this point. At least I have internet this time which is such a luxury and something I never thought would happen in Kerala.

Tomorrow starts our shopping for the wedding, so excited but I hope I have enough energy and tolerance for the heat to get through these few weeks.

its raining cats and dogs

having a hard time focusing after 3 very productive days. if only i can keep it going and finish proud! everything has finally hit me. im feeling super emotional, nervous, sad, happy, scared. i can't believe these are my last few days in colorado... my home. everything that i am is because of this place and the people here. im getting emotional about stupid things too... like i can't eat my favorite foods anymore, i can't watch the shows i want on my own schedule etc. i didn't think it would be so hard adding someone into your life.

the relationship i've had is purely of convenience. we don't really bother each other, and the distance allows for a lot of individuality. Now that i have to combine two lives, i'm scared that i will lose mine in it.

i also can't believe these are my last few days of school. i actually have to be an adult now. and find. a. job. ew. i have to actually work, and make money, and pay off loans, and finance, and buy cars and things. i have to work actual hours and not just part time. and after all of that i have to be a wife.

i can't just leave the dishes for my parents to do. i can't just eat whenever i want. i gotta do family stuff.

ah. and i'm going to india. i need to pack, i need to clean up my life from here. and move.
MOVE. via India. why did i think this was a good idea.

i'm nervous about the wedding. what if it turns out ugly, what if i look awful in india with the rain and humidity. what if i gain weight and don't fit in the dress.

oh but i've been waiting so long. 5 yrs? 6? to be with this person. to move and join him and begin. we didn't like the distance remember?

our dreams are coming true. we've waited so long and here it is.

Thursday mumblings.

These last few weeks, I spend so much time sleeping. I don't know what it is... I don't know if its because I get overwhelmed with my homework and ignore it by sleeping or if I my lingering cough is really burdening my body. But all I ever want to do is sleep. Today I took a 2.5 hr nap, when I have tons of stuff I could be doing! blah

This daylight savings etc is driving me crazy as well.

I also have a mad man teacher on Thursday...who is the most egotistical, stuck up, cockiest man I've ever met. And all my life a lot of my friends thought Indian men were the most stubborn--they have yet to meet this... german guy.

After tonight, I'll have 3 weeks of school/finals left and 1 week for fall break/TG. Its my last thanksgiving here since Canadians celebrate it in October. I also found out they don't go all crazy like Americans with the feast either...so I want to enjoy this one as much as I can. I have some good recipes I'd like to try out this year.

Well I must get dressed and go to my dreaded class.

Every 2 months or so...

... I've been meaning to sit down and blog for so long. Its amazing how fast time flies and I don't realize it until I look at the last time I had blogged. So much has been going on, and that just makes time move faster. In the past two months I've had 2 bridal showers, a trip to Toronto, dress fittings, 100s of invitations sent out, thank you cards to be written, and tickets booked for India.

The wedding is soon approaching. I had a fantastic trip to Toronto 2 weeks ago, but I think I left my heart there. I am so excited to move out there and be with my hunny. We've had some good talks and got along very well! I wanted to blog about the trip because we ate so much yummy food. A food blog requires a post after eating at the world's food capital. Every time I tell people I'm moving to Toronto, they always mention all the food I can eat. And eat I did. We are obsessed with breakfasts. Here is a list of a few places:

• Spring Rolls-Mango Tango Chicken
• Hero Burger
• Golden Griddle
• Jimmy the Greek
• Shawarmas
• The Host (Indian)
• South Indian food!
  
• Mucho Burrito

and so much more that I can't remember. And we even have more places we wanted to... but our taste buds could only take so much....

I've stopped working, and have so much time on my hands. I'm just trying to relax and enjoy the rest of my time at home.

Its so strange to think that I will have a new home soon, but at the same time exhilarating and freeing. I'm really looking forward to it. And looking forward to having my love with me all the time.

UPDATE: I just went back and read my last posts... and they are so depressing. The Toronto trip has really transformed C and I and we get along so well when we are together. When we are apart it is naturally harder because our lives do not interact, and we can go on having separate lives and having a relationship at the same time. But in Toronto... everything was so good, and so complete. I am not having any more doubts. I am absolutely certain and so absolutely happy.