Hello, Old Me.

Tomorrow I'm going to an interview. This is one of many interviews I've gone to in the last month. Really hoping that something works out . I'm crossing my fingers! The organization I am interviewing with tomorrow is an ideal place to work. It fits really well into my life goals. The services they provide is basically what I have done in the past, what I want to expand myself into with my new education, and why I decided to do an MBA in health care...all on a large scale. Hopefully this goes well.

While preparing for the interview, I came across an old document on my laptop. It was the essay I wrote for my application into the MBA program. It's a reminder of who I was and what my aspirations were. I had to answer the typical "what will you do in five years" question and though I'm not there yet, I want to make my old self proud of what I'm doing just a few years after writing that essay. The hardest part of job hunting is staying hopeful and believing that an opportunity is out there for you. Sometimes you just want to settle for anything. Reading this essay, I want to be just as confident as I was back then and stay true to my values and interests.

I know 40 years from now I will look back on my life and reflect on my professional career. I hope I look back at it with pride and have had the opportunity to learn a lot and help as many people as possible. I am anxiously waiting to start that career path. I just hope my chance is getting closer!

__________________________________________________________________

1. How will the MBA/MS degree enhance your career plans? Project the kinds of positions you anticipate having five years after earning the degree. What experiences have you had that form the foundation of your goals?

The Health Administration MBA degree will enhance my career plans by giving me the opportunity to learn how to manage and lead a group of people to provide the best healthcare to our society.

Although earning a bachelor’s degree is a great success, the decisions that followed it forced me to continue the process of molding myself. Fortunately, I had the chance to work in a family healthcare facility, which introduced many doors of opportunities in healthcare. This job confirmed my interest in healthcare, but it also gave me the interest in the business aspect of it. The work done by the office manager, electronic medical record trainers, and drug companies were intriguing positions that I had never noticed. The more interest I took in these positions led me to the decision of joining the MBA program emphasizing health administration.

Five years after obtaining this degree I hope to in incorporate my previous education and become a program director for a rehabilitation or physical therapy center. Furthermore, I dream of expanding my career by working for a corporate health company or pharmaceutical drug company by providing exceptional business management.

2. Give a candid appraisal of yourself. Include some discussion of your strengths and weaknesses.

I am a strong-willed, passionate, dedicated, determined woman. My interests range from arts and culture to technology and modern science. I am a quick learner, punctual, enthusiastic worker with a very helping nature. One of my most important strengths is my wide array of skills. Because of this quality I am always ready to confidently take on many tasks. However, this is also one of my weaknesses. I would like to improve my method of finding a balance so that I can focus on completing just a few tasks more thoroughly.

Another one of my best strengths is my passion to work with others. This is one of the reasons I am very interested in being a part of healthcare because compassion for others is a necessary skill in all areas of medicine. I have often been praised for my kindness, helpfulness, and understanding. I enjoy working in teams and do not hesitate to lead any size group.

Although I am proud of my strengths and improving my weaknesses, I have decided to enroll in an MBA program because I believe there is always room for improvement. Through this program I wish to develop myself professionally and academically while establishing a career.

3. Discuss three of your achievements or accomplishments.

I recognized one of my greatest accomplishments as I stood on the field at Folsom stadium during my college graduation: I had completed a Bachelor’s degree in just three years. As I found my parents in the crowd, I knew I had made them proud, and I knew I finally achieved the dream of all dreams for family. I am very proud to be an alumnus of the University of Colorado with a physiology bachelor’s degree and to be one of the first to receive a college education in my family.

Furthermore, a recent accomplishment of mine is the renovation of a small enterprise that my family has decided to buy. Though we had to commit much time and effort into this project, I am honored to be a part of reviving this business.

One of the earliest accomplishments I can remember is tackling the liturgy of the Indian Orthodox mass by converting the sounds of the native language to English script. Putting it together with various tunes is one of my best skills. I still hold that pride as I lead in the church choir and encourage the younger generation to learn and hold onto our unique culture.

4. Describe your level of commitment to education and the ways in which you might make a special contribution to the learning experience of others.

I am at a stage in my life where I can thoroughly commit myself to my education. This is the reason I have decided to apply for a master’s degree only a year after completing my bachelor’s degree. Often new graduates are distracted by the demands of life which gear them away from returning to school. Since I will be entering into this program early in my life and right after receiving my bachelor’s degree I am able to continue focusing on my education and building a professional career without any other obligations. I hope to make a special contribution to the learning experience of others by being an example of a dedicated student with the desire of achieving the most out of an education. I recognize the importance in obtaining the best education based on one’s interests, and I hope my focus and passion to complete a master’s degree in business management will encourage others to similarly commit themselves to succeed in a master’s program.

Hello 2011!

A belated happy new year to my post and also my blog birthday. I'm not as up to date as other bloggers are with wishing my readers a happy Christmas or new year or wishing my blog a happy birthday. I just do it whenever I have time. I know this would drive me crazy as a reader who keeps about 20 blogs in my google reader, but i'm not quite sure that I have a fan base yet :) so I can still do it my way.

The last few days I've been reflecting on my 2010. It has been the most interesting year of my life. I could say one of the best years of my life....but at the same time one of the worse, hardest, most lesson learning years. 2010 had a lot to top because my 2009 was AMAZING. not only did I graduate, have a great job, got engaged, I was looking forward to getting married and a huge move. 2010 was more like a huge piece of humble pie for me. God stripped me of everything I had...a car...a phone...family...friends...job and gave me everything that I wanted while I had it good....a husband...a new family...wifely chores...losing weight! It really drove down the reality of appreciating what you have at that moment because the next moment can definitely change your whole life. And the grass is always greener on the other side.

In 2009 I was very spoiled...all the money I made was spent mostly on shopping, food, selfish things other than paying for my car. 2010, I learned how to live off of another person's money (this time not my dad) and really budget and plan and not take advantage of it. I am truly lucky that money is not a huge issue for us.

2010 also taught me how hard a life as an immigrant is. In the US we always have controversies on how to treat immigrants (and then there are the illegal ones!) but often times they are looked down upon. I've done this myself, to other family members, and now that I am on the short end of the stick I have really been challenged. It is really hard getting immigration papers, working with the government on things, fitting into a new community, finding a job, learning new places. So i regret how I treated others....and feel very very sorry for treating them so badly. I also understand why my parents and other family still have such a strong feeling toward India after living in the US for so long. It's has to say goodbye to the place you are from.

I also learned how to be a wife, to live with a husband. I have a wonderful husband that doesn't bother me at all. We probably had about 4 fights that lasted a few hours in the past year. I am soo lucky to have a sensible, practical husband that really loves me and to be in a relationship that games are not necessary. I truly believe we are each others' best friends and our relationship has been quite easy because of that.

I know 2011 is a year of more change...but change that will help me settle down. I need to find a job for sure. I need to find my purpose in Canada. At the same time, I want to find more friends. I want to understand Canadians more. I need to slowly let go of the US if I want to fit in in Canada. I want to find more of a routine. 2010 brought a lot of changes in my dietary habits and weight loss but I hope I can reach my ideal goal in 2011. There is so much to do. I want to stay motivated, positive, and loving.

And one year later...

And one year later...I'm a real permanent resident of Canada. Today I received my OHIP card (Ontario Health Insurance Program) for health care services. What a wonderful moment! Not only is this the last thing I was waiting for regarding my immigration, I haven't had insurance for the last 3 years. I turned 22 and got kicked off of my mom's insurance. I only worked part time so I never received any medical benefits. I was going to grad school which provided really expensive insurance that I didn't take. I figured I worked in a doctor's office, so if the worst happens, I always had doctor's around to help me. It wasn't too bad. Whenever I had to see my real doctor I just paid for it, and I think I actually saved money compared to getting real insurance. Unfortunately, I went to the doctor more often after I moved to Canada and realized how beneficial insurance can be when I had to pay for my visits as an unemployed woman.

So receiving this card was quite a wonderful moment. I finally felt safe. Anything could happen to me, and I could see a doctor. This might not mean much to other Canadians, but coming from America and working in medical billing, I understand what a privilege it is to receive free health care. The card came stuck on a piece of paper. I looked at the paper over and over again. It just said here is your card, please notify us if your address changes. I was expecting a list of restrictions. Could I really go see any doctor? The ER? Walk In? Specialists? I'm not sure yet...I think I may need a referral for specialists. But I know many people walk into the ER like it is the walk in clinic. I recently heard a story where a woman died in the ER while waiting to be seen because the wait time was so long, and no one was available to tend to her.

I guess there are advantages and disadvantages to both systems. There are not many doctors in Canada because many of them migrate to the US where doctors get paid more. The salaries in Canada are lower because most of the medical expenses are paid by the government. Waiting times are long, and doctors' skills may not be allocated properly since even a little cold is treating by the ER doctors. Health care is very expensive in the US but we don't have to wait very long. There must be a happy medium between the two.

I'm still very excited about receiving my card. At least I have some option. Not only do I need a lot of services, it will be interesting to compare the two systems as well.

Life and Death

i'm here at school and the printers are not working....i have a few minutes before class and a mind provoking topic, so it was a perfect moment to update the blog.

last night i have this weird feeling...like i was going to die. my body was hurting so much that i thought i may have something like MS or some sort of whole body cancer. Thinking about this really scared me. How would it feel to hear that you may only have a few days to live? After looking up MS symptoms...I'm sure I don't have that so I feel much better today. But last night I was so scared that I just started crying.

I also had this weird feeling when I went to an amusement park this summer. I went back home in August and me cousins and I decided to go to an amusement park. I lovee rides, but this time I was quite scared of something unusual happening. I'm usually the one that forces others to get on roller coasters...but this time it was realyl hard to get myself to go on it.

This is pretty odd for me because there have been days in the past where I would go to sleep and hope that I died and won't have to wake up the next day. Before getting married, I've had many nights that I'd go to bed when so much physical pain and heartache that I just didn't want to live another day.

Last night, I was scared to die. I feel like theres's not much to live for these days so I thought it would be easier to think about death. It's not. The reason I was so scared was because I wasn't ready to leave my husband yet. I think my purpose in life may no be extraordinary, but just to care and be with my husband. I was truly scared because I didn't want to leave him alone in this world. And selfishly, I didn't want to see him start another life that has potential for prefection without me. I know this is morbid to think, but thinking about it gave me a spark. I feel like I do have something to live for. I didn't just move here to make my life so difficult. I'm really here because I love my husband and really really really want to be with him and hopefully for 60+ years!

Midterms

I wanted to write this post a couple days ago. I always have stuff on my mind that is time sensitive but forget to actually write it in the blog! As we all know the Midterm elections were this week. This is not another post on how the House is divided and if our country will make it another two years. This is a post about how you feel as an immigrant during voting season.

Recently it seems as though everything I do is so similar to how my parents are. Everything I am trying to work through in Canada reminds me of what my parents must have felt when they came to the US. I remember when we were little and had dinner parties with all the other indian families, the uncles would sit around and talk about Indian politics. I never knew why they would be so involved in indian politics. First of all it was really complicated. Secondly, and most importantly, they don't live there anymore so why do they care so much? To me politics was something you worried about when you lived in that area. Isn't it in my best interest to be informed on who my mayor, senator, congressmen are in my city? How they directly affect me?

I guess its more complicated than that. This year when everyone was voting in the US, i felt left out, but at the same time i was so interested. I read all the articles, watch the polls at the end of the day. But why? I don't llive there anymore and it doesn't effect me at all. I think for me it was more a feeling of pride, a feeling of belonging. I still feel like I am an American and regardless of where I live I want America to prosper. I want it to look good amongst the other countries. I want people to elect the right guys because the American government still affects my parents and my sister and all my friends and family still in America.

You know I think that's what it means to be a citizen. To be proud of your country regardless of where you are or what situation the country is in. That is your country and you want to show it off.

I guess those uncles at the indian parties are still indian inside and still care how their families/parents/siblings are living back home.

tired

i realized that i'm slowly becoming my mom. its so dreadful and something that i don't want at all...but it seems so inevitable. one time we went to india and had planned this super long tour around south india. our first stop was chennai, then mysore, then mangalore. we werer going to do a 10 day trip by train. it was quite fun, we visited family on the way and got to see a lot of places in such a quick time. i really liked seeing the mysore palace and its extraordinary architecture. naturally when we got back to kerala everyone asked how our trip was. My dad, my sister and i were soooo excited to tell everyone how it was and how much we enjoyed it. But my mom's response? "oh it was tiring" everytime someone asked us about it she said it was tiring. We got really mad at her and told her she has a negative attitude. She does usually look for the negative in things and try to argue with everyone--its just her nature.

So the other night my hus and i went swimming. he asked me how i was liking it and i was "its tiring, my legs hurt a lot." as soon as i said it...i wish i could take it back. he scrunched his face and said "are you always complaining?" i felt so bad at that moment. he had set up this whole swimming thing, bought me a new swimsuit etc. i do tend to complain a lot. with my body issues...a lot of things are painful but i guess it is just as hard being around someone complaining about it as well. sometimes i feel like i have a right to complain because i have an actual physical problem. but no one likes being around a complainer. i've decided to not be so complainy anymore. i want to be a positive person (i used to be a positive person). but sometimes at the end of the day...i feel like my husband is the person i should be the most honest to. i guess though, you just gotta suck it up and live.

Busy Bee

I finally have become busy in Canada. I started classes a few weeks ago...just part time taking some classes that i didn't take in my previous programs. its at a community college...which is interesting. i always think of myself as very immature--well not immature....just not mature like other people my age. But, when i come to this school....i realize how much of an old lady i am. :P not that its a bad thing, i like being out of that uncertainty phase that the other students are going through. I know everyone has their own issues but its funny how during class i'm stressed out about grocery lists, what to make for dinner, laundry, etc.

I also started volunteering and though i've only gone to two days, i loveeee being in an office again. there is something about walking into an office and pouring yourself a cup of coffee. i can't wait until i get a real office job. i also love being around other people too.

all this good karma has helped and i've actually gotten my immigration!! it was so exciting and such a relief to finally have things work for me. i finally get to add myself to insurance policies, bank accts, etc. i feel like i have an identity here.

i've also realized how hard it is to be a working wife! i was out all day...and came home to a pile of hoemwork. i realized then that i need to organize my life better if i intend to cook, clean etc like before. i want to be the perfect wife but be an independent, confident woman as well.

i'm havin fun though. life is much better than it was before. though i miss all my daytime tv shows and sitting around in my pjs all day!