Day Two of MBFIW

Day Two of MBFIW-- Today was THE shopping day that every India girl dreams of where she picks everything in reds and golds that attracts the most attention to herself. I already had a similar day in America picking out my wedding dress, but I've always imagined myself wearing a saree with tons of gold. Unfortunately the fashion for Catholic weddings in Kerala is a wedding gown and the price of gold is out the roof. But in Indian weddings we get to change! So I got a red saree with a lot of gold work for the reception. I bought a diamond necklace and gold jewelry but I can't believe how much this costs! I could buy a decent car with this much money. Buying these three things took the whole day, and traveling 85 kms takes 3 hours here so we just got home a few hours ago.

There were still some disappointments, I didn't receive the bridesmaids' sarees yet, my mom didn't really like her choice for her own saree. And with these gold prices I didn't get all new stuff, I'm wearing some of my old pieces as well.

On the other hand my dad and sis are coming soon and C is coming tomorrow. I don't know when I get to see him but my stomach has butterflies and I'm so excited to start my life with him. Plus I think he's so hot.

A little info for the foodie in me: I had biryani today from a muslim restaurant--pretty good but I think American places have better biryani. Also had sardines which sounds awful in english but it is one of the best foods in Kerala. I'm still waiting for my puffs which hopefully I'll get tomorrow.

Day one of My-Big-Fat-Indian-Wedding

INDIA--Day one of My-Big-Fat-Indian-Wedding. Just got off the plane this morning and India is always an eye opener to me. The life here is so opposite of life in America. For one, everyone thinks its such a hassle to travel in the US but Indian airports are just so different. Its crowded and small, loud and inefficient. We landed two hours before we could get out of the airport. Who has two hours to waste in America. The people are so loud, it even started as we boarded a plane to Kuwait from NY. The gate was getting so noisy. And the people were so pushy.

Its Christmas time in Kerala so the houses are covered in stars and decorations. People get up early in the morning and leisurely take time to read the newspaper and have homemade breakfasts. They drive very expertly here to the point where my heart skips a beat due to fear. And its hot here, even in December. and humid.

So far I've eaten, showered and slept. I'm staying at my uncle's house and our house is empty but being cleaned for this hungama of a wedding. I'm the first one here and waiting for all my relatives to still come in so a little bored at this point. At least I have internet this time which is such a luxury and something I never thought would happen in Kerala.

Tomorrow starts our shopping for the wedding, so excited but I hope I have enough energy and tolerance for the heat to get through these few weeks.

its raining cats and dogs

having a hard time focusing after 3 very productive days. if only i can keep it going and finish proud! everything has finally hit me. im feeling super emotional, nervous, sad, happy, scared. i can't believe these are my last few days in colorado... my home. everything that i am is because of this place and the people here. im getting emotional about stupid things too... like i can't eat my favorite foods anymore, i can't watch the shows i want on my own schedule etc. i didn't think it would be so hard adding someone into your life.

the relationship i've had is purely of convenience. we don't really bother each other, and the distance allows for a lot of individuality. Now that i have to combine two lives, i'm scared that i will lose mine in it.

i also can't believe these are my last few days of school. i actually have to be an adult now. and find. a. job. ew. i have to actually work, and make money, and pay off loans, and finance, and buy cars and things. i have to work actual hours and not just part time. and after all of that i have to be a wife.

i can't just leave the dishes for my parents to do. i can't just eat whenever i want. i gotta do family stuff.

ah. and i'm going to india. i need to pack, i need to clean up my life from here. and move.
MOVE. via India. why did i think this was a good idea.

i'm nervous about the wedding. what if it turns out ugly, what if i look awful in india with the rain and humidity. what if i gain weight and don't fit in the dress.

oh but i've been waiting so long. 5 yrs? 6? to be with this person. to move and join him and begin. we didn't like the distance remember?

our dreams are coming true. we've waited so long and here it is.

Thursday mumblings.

These last few weeks, I spend so much time sleeping. I don't know what it is... I don't know if its because I get overwhelmed with my homework and ignore it by sleeping or if I my lingering cough is really burdening my body. But all I ever want to do is sleep. Today I took a 2.5 hr nap, when I have tons of stuff I could be doing! blah

This daylight savings etc is driving me crazy as well.

I also have a mad man teacher on Thursday...who is the most egotistical, stuck up, cockiest man I've ever met. And all my life a lot of my friends thought Indian men were the most stubborn--they have yet to meet this... german guy.

After tonight, I'll have 3 weeks of school/finals left and 1 week for fall break/TG. Its my last thanksgiving here since Canadians celebrate it in October. I also found out they don't go all crazy like Americans with the feast either...so I want to enjoy this one as much as I can. I have some good recipes I'd like to try out this year.

Well I must get dressed and go to my dreaded class.

Every 2 months or so...

... I've been meaning to sit down and blog for so long. Its amazing how fast time flies and I don't realize it until I look at the last time I had blogged. So much has been going on, and that just makes time move faster. In the past two months I've had 2 bridal showers, a trip to Toronto, dress fittings, 100s of invitations sent out, thank you cards to be written, and tickets booked for India.

The wedding is soon approaching. I had a fantastic trip to Toronto 2 weeks ago, but I think I left my heart there. I am so excited to move out there and be with my hunny. We've had some good talks and got along very well! I wanted to blog about the trip because we ate so much yummy food. A food blog requires a post after eating at the world's food capital. Every time I tell people I'm moving to Toronto, they always mention all the food I can eat. And eat I did. We are obsessed with breakfasts. Here is a list of a few places:

• Spring Rolls-Mango Tango Chicken
• Hero Burger
• Golden Griddle
• Jimmy the Greek
• Shawarmas
• The Host (Indian)
• South Indian food!
  
• Mucho Burrito

and so much more that I can't remember. And we even have more places we wanted to... but our taste buds could only take so much....

I've stopped working, and have so much time on my hands. I'm just trying to relax and enjoy the rest of my time at home.

Its so strange to think that I will have a new home soon, but at the same time exhilarating and freeing. I'm really looking forward to it. And looking forward to having my love with me all the time.

UPDATE: I just went back and read my last posts... and they are so depressing. The Toronto trip has really transformed C and I and we get along so well when we are together. When we are apart it is naturally harder because our lives do not interact, and we can go on having separate lives and having a relationship at the same time. But in Toronto... everything was so good, and so complete. I am not having any more doubts. I am absolutely certain and so absolutely happy.

pleasantries

pretty good day today. it feels good to have some peace again. had another dress fitting. weddings suck up money like crazy. oh but i loveee that dress. i wish i was wearing it for longer than just an hour. i hope i end up loving my saree just as much as well. the tickets are finalized also. just a few more things and shopping for gifts and we'll be on our way,

im getting nervous about the canada trip. i've never been with c for so many days. i hope we dont get tired of each other. i hope we get along. atleast i always have the hotel room to go back to. it feels like a trial run.

Focus/Woozah?

I can't focusss. I can't focus when things are like this. I need to talk to u for my days to go well. I hate who I've become. When did I become so cold. I hate who u've become. When will it ever get better? There are so many good things going on in life. I feel awful. Everything hurts. not physically... just...drained and damaged like. Remember how it felt to be on cloud 9? I don't know if I'm ready to be an adult. but I though with you by my side I could learn, I could transform, I could become. But now i'm lonely, and bitter, and mean. I'm never mean. This is too new and I hate being this way.
Things I need to work on:
Smiling at people
Realizing that other people did not do anything to you
Stop yelling at people