Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Homecoming

Lately I've noticed, ever night when I'm coming home from class, sitting on the bus, I have this personal homecoming celebration in my mind. Every night the bus passes the Boulder turnpike, my life flashes before, I have a sigh of relief that I've made it through another day. I wake up every morning thinking of the long day ahead of me, work/school, or schoolwork, family, friends, boyfriend, life, money, money money and lately the elections. but 15 hours later, i pass the Boulder turnpike and am reminded to be thankful, that another day went by without any major tragedies. Sometimes I feel as though I own the whole of northern Denver metro. I've grown up here, and this is my home.
Boulder turnpike: reminds me that that life I used to have, where everything was all about pleasure, college is pleasure, the search for it, in the most expensive way. But along that route, you run into Superior which is the place i work now.
We pass that exit and move onto the next:
Thornton Pkwy-where my high school is and why I have such attachment to this place. I have become who I am because of that high school and all the friends and teachers who have inspired me.
104th-our first home in Thornton, and now my parents' final destination with our store. Everything has become a full circle on this street: from elementary school to where I spend the most time these days.
112th-Where my middle school is... my lost years, I had no clue who I wanted to be, and who I was actually being. strange strange years.
120th-typically my last stop on the bus, this street is the park and ride, which is so important to me. my aunt lives across the street. I used to live just down the street. and right around the corner is where I hung out, loitered at every store with my high school friends.
then we move onto 136th-my home for now. not just a house, its home.
denver has continued so far these days...to 144th-the new mall where i seem to find myself on saturday mornings, 160th where my sister got her first job.

I know every nick and cranny of this place. every mcdonald from commerce city to boulder. every stoplight, walgreens, short cut, alley, and every hidden corner the cops like to hang out in.

through everything i've done in my life, every person i met, and who i have become, northern denver is home. and thinking of leaving it soon is killing me. maybe its the unconscious acceptance of knowing i only have a few more days, months, maybe less than a year to be here that has initiated this homecoming celebration. How will i make another city home? i don't think i can ever own a city like i own this one. every steet has a meaning to me, a period of my life, or at least a small memory.

but everyday, i thank God that even though the day was rough, and i never knew if i could do it, i've made it through, and in the end I always return home.